Observations and thoughts

 A lot of things going through my head lately...

First, can we keep talking about my house sale. Um, I made $50k on an $80k house!! Um.... yassssssssssssssss! I just feel I spend so much time lamenting on all things, one of those being the house in the past. Let's spend more time celebrating too! I love having that boost to my balance sheet. It's awesome. It's motivating. It makes the picture of early retirement come that much more in focus.

What's funny is I was watching Big Brother and the grand prize is $750k and people were talking about what they would do with the money. And I'm thinking, wow, I'm really close to prize money status! So it was nice to get the affirmation that this pot of money is truly life changing! 

The Medication

So we know on generic Zoloft, I felt fearless. And just wanted to have fun. It's been 4 days on Lexapro, and I feel that it definitely works on the "depression" part of my brain. Which, to be clear, I've never really identified with. I tried it on and it just didn't fit. If anything it was maybe secondary to my anxiety. Which I never fully understood until some of those anxious feelings went away. Anyway, what I've observed over this past work week is more inclination to perform activities of daily living. Yesterday was a good example. I had another fitful sleep. I slept in late. Then got up brushed and flossed; showered; got dressed; went to PT; ran an errand afterward; picked up my package; had a meeting; went to the movies; did some work when I came home; ate a mango; sat outside; then decided I was hungry; and cooked! 

In a typical day, I'll usually plan my day around one thing and call it a day. But I just kept going. I would do the thing. Have a few minutes of rest, and somehow not feel sooooooooo tired that I couldn't do anything else.

Additionally, I've been resisting the urge to clean the whole house. There's stuff everywhere, and I just want to wipe and do some laundry. Yeah, who am I?!

So, while I'm not as adventurous as I was last week, I can see how this could be an improvement with someone with major depressive disorder, one of the indications of this medication. 

On that note, my throat is extremely sore this morning. So I probably need to give irritating foods a rest. So no chocolates and spicy foods for me for the time being. I'm even using this under-the-weather feeling as an excuse to stay in this weekend. As if I don't have enough rest.

I also should add that I have active project work this week, which can spur activity. And also the need to be less active on the weekend. When I'm on active project work, I tend to covet my free time more.

Some decisions

Cabo - I sent out calendar reminders for some milestones on my current project and it just makes the most sense to be here with my reliable internet. The 3 days I'd be in Cabo are days I need a fidgety internal system to work. And I'm uncertain how that looks on hotel wifi. 

Trip to Newtown and Housing - I tried to put together a short list of housing options for when I visit Newtown in a couple weeks. I just came up a bit short. So for now, I'm considering just keeping my Standby membership while I'm in Newtown. That way I can maybe get a feel for where I want to live and how I think my life might look. Part of me is saying, it's not that serious. just pick somewhere. The other part of me is like well you have the flexibility, why not take advantage of your Standby membership. 

I'm unclear when my next project starts after this one delivers, but I have a rough idea I want to be all set and unpacked by end of August/beginning of September. 

Cairo - I am more and more sure, I want to take that trip the week before Thanksgiving. That leaves December to focus on Miami which is awesome. It just makes sense. So according to my table, I have a potential for a special trip every month beginning in September. Which again...awesome.

2nd Job - My interviews have gone surprisingly well. But I mean, it's hard to tell. I do think I come off a little young. But I get comfortable and that's what happens. I did go through the mental exercise of what name should I use. The biggest concern is being recognized. But I think it just makes sense to use my Work Name in both situations. And just hope I don't work on any projects they have in common. And I'm also counting on the fact that the name could be considered common. The only other thing is trying to explain it to my new manager. Oh boy! I'll leave any more thoughts on this until after I get the offer. Yikes! Today there is a writing exercise. So that will give me insight on whether I need to think about this further.

401k - my 401k is getting close to where I wanted it to be to rollover. But I decided to just let it ride. Hopefully it will stabilize to a number above where I need it to be and I'll have time in the future to simplify everything. It feels less urgent now.