2 weeks on Lexapro and other life updates

 I don't know when exactly I last blogged, so let me catch you up.

Med Update

It's been about 2 weeks since I switched from Zoloft to Lexapro. Luckily, the fire breathing belly and throat burn has subsided. I haven't noticed any remarkable side effects on Lexapro. Not to say there aren't any. They just might not be noticeable yet. Luckily, I didn't have any discontinuation syndrome coming off Zoloft. But I was only on a half tablet of whatever dose I started. 

But I also haven't noticed any remarkable effects, either. I miss the fearlessness I experienced on Zoloft. So comparing one to the other, that's the biggest change.

In terms of Lexapro vs baseline. I've cried once briefly during therapy, but other than that no more tearfulness. But the urge is certainly there. But I'm also very distracted with work and my slow move to Newtown. I am still replaying conversations. I notice that now vs my week onsite for work. Where I could recount almost nothing. Now, I've replayed a bad interview and random conversations. If I were to dig hard for a change, I would say I other than the interview, I don't find myself regretting things I said. So I'm not sure why my brain is replaying it.

(Oh, I guess the pool is open. I was wondering about that.)

If I'm looking for things that might be related to the meds that's good/ different vs recent times:

- Maybe I'm able to resolve things faster; but that might also be due to the transitional nature of my life right now. Optimizing is second or third to just finding a solution to my immediate problem. So I guess I'm not ruminating on decisions that later turn out to be less optimal. But I do notice them. So maybe I'm solving problems faster? Not sure

- In line with that, when something needs to be done, I will opt to just do it. Especially if it's simple. But that didn't happen with my project. I stewed on it for like 2 days. So that is also TBD.

- In my last apartment, I found myself doing more domestic things at the last minute. Namely, washing clothes and running the dishwasher. No improvement on hair or dental hygiene though. Maybe marginally more showers, but I also have been sweating more. 

So I still maintain this med works more on depressions symptoms ( which I don't really identify with) vs anxiety (which I more identify with). But we'll see what happens at month 1 or 2. As long as I don't have any negative side effects that are intolerable, I'm willing to give it a 2 or 3 month trial. 

Honestly, I was at the point where if the heartburn medicine was working, I may have kept taking Zoloft. Which is a lot for someone who didn't want to take meds at all. 

Other Life Updates/ Accomplishments

- Made it to Roadstop #2 on Thursday after getting bumped from Summertown. The trip was mostly uneventful, so that was good. Good decision too to try to slow travel. After 8 hours on the road, I was not going to be happy to get up the next morning and do it again. 

Well when I got to the new apartment, it was giving Motel 6 vibes. And I felt a little unsure what to do next. Since I was already bumped for the 15th, the app wouldn't let me pick a new place. Luckily, I had a community manager and miracle-of-miracles I reached out to him. And by the next morning, I was able to book a new place. I move in tomorrow. Yay! So that's what I mean about problem being solved quickly. At first, I was trying to suck it up and just cry and wonder why me. But nope, I found a solution. And it worked out. Next up was just sucking it up/ keep moving after my trip to Newtown next weekend. 

I am hopeful that the next unit will be better. 

- Making steady progress on my work project that delivers next week!

- Made a last minute pit stop to FedEx.

- Just overall packing myself out of last apartment. And unloading car (before I knew how awful this apartment was) when I arrived at Roadstop #2.

- Cancelling all my tickets out of Summertown. 

Overall, here's where I am.

I am about 2 days worth of travel away from Newtown. I think I'll probably try to stick with the original plan of heading to Roadstop #3 about a week before I'm due in Newtown. However, if I can't find a standby unit, that plan may be adjusted. I'll prob just book a hotel. But I am glad I waited to book any rooms ahead of time. 

But yeah, this is feeling more and more real. 

I have an apartment on hold which is exciting. 

The last couple weeks, I keep getting 52-week high alerts which always makes me check my balances. At this point, I don't expect much growth. I'm hovering around 67% of progress, but still keeping expectations low and hoping to end the year at around 65%. It's still really exciting and puts a pep in my step. I decided to hold off on making any rollovers to my 401k until the balances stabilizes. At this point, there's really no rush. 

Financially, I'm looking forward to the next 3 years. And unless my time in Newtown is awful, I'm already thinking it'll be my default landing place while I finish this last leg of my financial race. I was recapping my last 10 years to a colleague yesterday and that started to help it feel more real and reflective. 

I think I might still go to Cabo. I'm not totally excited. But I'm hoping my colleague that's going will at least confirm the food is good. The Cabo trip will serve a couple of purposes - use up my Catalzye points. Mark the end of my old life; be a mile marker of sorts for many things; be a celebration of a new beginning; and also be like an end of summer trip. Presumably, work will be more steady in September. So yeah, I think for those reasons,  I might go. And I like that it's a short trip. Not that I couldn't change it, but I already requested the time off work and put it on people's calendars. 

I think having that separation between where I was and where I am will be good. I like symbolic and ceremonial things. It will be good to put a period on the last chapter of my life with this trip. No pressure huh. I find myself hesitant to call my past my Old Life. Feels like it puts too much pressure on the next steps. 

Oh on the meds, I will say I'm more forgetful and absent-minded. But we'll see if that's really a factor of the meds or just this wonky space I'm in in life. Anyway, in this moment, I'm excited to see what the future holds. It's like a familiar book..a book from the same author....but the story is different because of different characters....but you know this author and their themes... and you hope you enjoy it.