thursday

 woke up around 9a

it's nice and drizzly outside

not too cold inside

had a thought of maybe going to family reunion for the first time this year. it'll be in my country of origin. would be nice for origin-mom to see all her kids in the same place for the first time in 30 years... i guess

i'm getting soft

would probably have to pay for brother to go...costly

more reason to try to extend STD to get extra funds

we'll see

first financial consulting guy flaked yesterday

i still get angst in bottom of throat with any kind of meeting... 

have interview for summer camp job today

angsty

i'm mostly prepared thanks to chatgpt...didn't practice nor anything...just trying not to think too hard...if it was something i could get in my 20s...surely getting it in my 40s should be easier...right? who knows!

not sure if it was just a paper app before though...now it's a video interview...

need to check how my video looks

it's so nice not having to worry about money...it just bears repeating over and over and over for the rest of my life...

but social anxiety still exists... i guess

i am succeeding at being gracious with myself on not going to too many activities... i do pause a lot more than i used to...which i'm keeping an eye on... 

this year is my discovery year.. we shall see

maybe i should go visit my friend for her birthday!

wouldn't that be fun...