Honey Buns, a Financial Milestone, and other Sweet Life Updates

 Today is one of the happy days. My simple luxury at the moment is using a space heater as a foot warmer. Sometimes it gets so hot I'll even open the windows, but keep the space heater on my feet. Maybe luxury is a euphemism for 'how did I waste money today.'

But today is one of the happy days. I am happy today for circumstantial things (of course), but happy none the less for what are emotions if not fleeting.

I had a great meeting in the morning with a project manager who is just a good meeting facilitator (read: white). There were 2 old white men in the meeting which I think had it just been them plus me would have been a not so great meeting (read: lots of talking in circles and verbally patting each other on the back). 

Anyway, I think work was taking up a lot of mental space the last few weeks, but having cranked out a real workable first draft of my project, I feel much better. I can think, sort of. 

I decided to do some writing in the afternoon today. I read somewhere that the 9a to 5p workday was meant for manual labor not creative work like some of us have to do. I believe it. I've been having night time thoughts where I want to produce work but I'm also trying to train myself to not work after hours after the trauma of last year. So, I don't know. Do I just work when the mood comes or do I try to work within the confines of the workday. 

As always, I want an answer right away, but we shall see. I have noticed when it's cold and grey in the morning, getting up is hard to do. And when it's a task that requires complex thought, it just doesn't get done. Now is that something I continue to fight, or do I wake up at 3a and write. I don't know.

Same with the house. I realized that my FIRE horizon had me reaching my FI goal at age 42, so I'd intended to stay in the house until then for financial reasons. With those financial reasons being loosened, I find myself in limbo. That inflection point came sooner than expected. So I don't have enough data. But I think I'm in the same place I was in the apartment, where would I even go?

So yes, without calling too much attention to it (because of fear), I had a lofty goal of seeing $160k growth in investments this year, and I did it! How did I come up with that number. I have been an avid reader of A Purple Life and from Dec 2018 to Dec 2019, she saved/invested/realized about $160k worth of growth in those 12 months. We make about the same and with my COVID budget, I thought I could match her growth. And I did! As of last weekend, I've seen $160k worth of growth in all my assets this year. Isn't that amazing! 

It's certainly a good problem to have because at the end of Q3, my assets had gone backward so I didn't think I'd make it! But I did! Obviously, Mean Brain says anything can happen between now and then, but it still feels pretty cool. These are the things I wish I could say aloud to someone, anyone. 

Honey Buns

On a whim because there were so many bushels of snack cakes all over the Food Lion, I picked up a Food Lion brand of Honey Buns to check for milk ingredients. There were none! So I bought a pack. My first pack of snack cakes since what... high school? I used to love Hostess Cupcakes. Eat the icing first then lick the creme center. Yum. I think I had one most days for lunch in high school. 

I just had my off-brand Honey Bun and it tasted like adolescence. The simple things.

At the grocery store, and elderly lady chatted me up briefly about gravy. She mentioned she was getting the canned gravy because it was just her. My heart wanted to invite her over or at least commiserate. But I couldn't. I don't know, I just didn't. I saw her multiple times and we even ended up in the same check-out line. I felt very strongly I was supposed to invite her over or spend time with her but I couldn't make a plan fast enough. I know God will punish me. 

This isn't the first time where I've felt drawn to a stranger to do something good, but I just don't know how. 

I don't have a phone so I couldn't really get her number. Well I guess technically I have a way to call her. Maybe I could just ask to call her on Thanksgiving. Ok, well, next time then. And then just chatting up strangers. It's so out of the norm for me. 

I was like can I tell her I'm living alone? She was so freely telling me and I'm so scared to let anyone know I live alone. 

Anyway, that happened.

Other things

As I'm wont to do, I'm spending way too much time thinking about questions I'm getting on the app. It feels like interviewing all over again. Do I give the real answer or something carefree that doesn't answer the question. Ugh. Who cares.

I did do patience exercises this weekend. I had a  plumbing issue. And instead of getting frustrated for an hour trying to fix it, I just waited for a few days and it fixed itself.  Granted, I did have a lapse on Saturday. But I only spent about 10 minutes on it, versus the 1 hour or so. Then Monday, it was resolved.

Then the apps. I mentally checked out of the big girl apps, but am giving myself until Wed afternoon to completely delete them. Why wait? Well, I've deleted the regular dating apps in a fit of feelings only to reinstall them, so this time I wanted to be sure and not think later that I didn't stay around long enough.

And all the adult feelings I was having about relationships have certainly subsided. I think I just had a momentary Fall Awakening with all my new found freedom (i.e. new job). With the cold weather lingering, I mostly just want to stay in bed and eat potatoes. Haha. 

So I had been going back and forth between NC and Seattle on the one dating app, but I have been in Seattle (on the app) for at least a week... or a weekend and some change. I might stay there... that is until the well runs dry. 

At this moment, the plan is just go down to the one regular dating app. I was already planning on deleting the adult dating apps tomorrow. But I think I'll go ahead and get rid of Coffee Meets Bagel and Plenty of Fish. Coffee Meets Bagel is not very popular in my area it seems. Those are their words not mine. And Plenty of Fish just doesn't seem as high quality. It's a low-effort swipe app. So I got 100+ likes within a couple days but only a handful of messages. I've been more intentional about "my type" now that I know this is a long game.  So for POF, I just deleted the messages if they didn't have a college degree listed. (Vicious for Old Me where I felt I owed strangers on the internet an explanation.)

So Hinge comes out the victor. Even in my area and out of state, it's been better quality people. The plan is still to be done with app life by the end of the year. I don't have the mental capacity for it. It's a good alternate reality, but 2022, especially q1 will be physical darkness because it's winter and just work is going to ramp up. And I know I won't feel like getting out of the house.

I was motivated by two professional women my age and skin color that got married off dating apps this year, but again...when I try to do what others do... something bad happens. I don't get all the facts, just the success story. 

I don't know what my overarching goals are for 2022 other than FI.  I really can't think past that. It's the only one I can actively "control" in a way. I can't control who decides to like me, but I can "control" what I save. And I'm still learning my job, so it's a bit of an unknown. I was hopeful about getting back on MeetUp but just from browsing as a guest, there were not many active groups. So socializing is definitely not at the top of any lists. 

That's enough rambling, this post took a different turn. It was meant to be a light and breezy update. 

Happy Thanksgiving!