Life Update: A fee, Jury Duty, and My New Hobby

 So as predicted, the cozy fall weather and kickoff for the holiday season has me feeling all the Feels. Weekish 1 of Adulting for Money has led to exactly $0. I'm actually out about $5 buying decorative masks to cover my face. Also my eye hurt from trying on the masks. 

I'm torn between trying to sell my performance art in as mercenary a way as possible (I got that term from a Sugar Daddy story as told by the Daddy) and getting fooled into thinking these anonymous screennames are actually people. I get stuck on simple questions like "How's your day?" or "What are your plans for the weekend?" Do I answer like a mercenary or like a human. 

I left Houston and moved on to the Bay Area. My stay has been more fruitful in terms of interest but I have not converted anything yet. 

My online love and I are pretty much done. He blocked me... I think? I was off the apps for about 2-3 days prior to see how I could survive without the attention. Spoiler: like the 37 years before, I survived just fine.

I keep hearing more and more stories about how common it is for rejected "nice guys" to turn vile. I think that's what I'm afraid of most. What vitriol will I be on the receiving end of this time. 

I think what I need to do is focus more on my target audience. Age 60+. Maybe 50s if they seem really keen. 

I'm still struggling with thinking these users are people that I owe something to. Where I used to devour FIRE blogs and dive into people's blog stories, I now find myself on the adultery reddit. Apparently some people are looking for real connection. I just find the Ashley Madison site amusing. No one I've talked to seems interested in a human connection. I think we're all just playing a silly adult fantasy game, so it's difficult to believe any of it is serious. 

But every now and then I'll get a nice compliment and it throws me off. You know I'm a simple girl. I can fall in love with a compliment. 

I think the safest thing for me is to keep 1 safe guy for the company (virtual only) and then try to convert any other newcomers. 

I think with my Online Romance, I wanted to meet up too soon. He might have actually been a person? Idk. The other guys that were messaging me definitely wanted to meetup ASAP, so I thought that was the norm. You know I struggle in social interactions with no rules. Apparently, these profiles might want to be treated like individuals. Bah. 

So yeah, my new hobby is both entertaining, distracting, confusing, and maddening. It changes from minute to minute. 

Jury Duty

So I haven't checked my mail I guess in over a month because I am apparently am being summoned for jury duty on Monday!! The shocker is they have my new name and my address. I never updated my address officially with the DL office so not sure how they got that. Which takes me back to the spiral of what the heck to do with my name. I really would rather go back to my original name since changing all the info on my bank accounts sounds super hard and time consuming. But mostly my new name was supposed to accompany my NEW LIFE that never quite worked out. 

Late Fee

I also got charged a $5 late fee on a utility bill. Apparently the payment dates change each month and I have it set to autopay from my bank's billpay (not the utility company's) on the same date each month. When I did this successfully for 5 years in the studio, I'd just paid all my BillPay bills 1 week in advance just in case. But somehow in the house, I like to live on the edge and paid all my bills on the date or as close to it as possible. We shall see if I have enough desire to call and try to get the late charge fee removed. 

In other news, I apparently have gone way over my food budget for October and still spending. I don't know. I just don't feel much like cooking.  I've been taking myself out on dates I suppose - namely getting silly amounts of takeout and eating them alone on my futon couch. Living the dream. Then in the parking lot on the way to P.F. Chang's I see a lady with no shoes hauling her 5 bags of what seems to be her only possessions. 

I wish I could just buy her some shoes at least.