The One Where You Call Your Boss a Liar (and Hope You Still Have A Job)

As always, you give me an inch, and I take a mile. My manager and I had a 1:1 earlier talking about performance management. I really should've ended the meeting at the 30 minute mark, but I usually enjoy the time with her. So even though there was not much I wanted to talk about, I kept shooting the breeze with nonsense to make the hour stretch. 

Usually it's good conversation, but at this point I was a bit distracted, probably hungry, and a little over it.

When she talked about the Performance Management system, I exclaimed I hated it. 

Then I tried to enter my performance goals, and I messed it all up and was exasperated. She definitely kept her cool, but I felt like a child. 

Near the end of the hour, I finally asked if 2 of our co-workers wanted my job. She said they didn't. I said, "you're lying!"

Who does that?

I think I've crossed a boundary. I know I've crossed a boundary. I've taken it too far. 

I think I just got too comfortable. 

I think in general, she's been too good and welcoming and kind to me. And I took it too far. 

I do these things. I never should've gotten comfortable. I've been down this road. I took the bait and now I've stuck my foot in it. 

My punishment is 2 weeks of staying on topic. No personal topics or conversations. Don't share anything about myself; and don't try to glean anything about her. Oh no! I was going to schedule a birthday dinner next Friday, but now I definitely can't. See, I was getting too comfortable.  Even if she's nice to me, I can't let that fool me. 

I need to just keep my comments to myself. Man, I already know this person. I thought things would be different here. But I went in with an open heart and mind and I ended up in the same place.

Opening my mouth just wide enough to stick my foot in. 

Hrmph. 

It's like a car wreck. Can you imagine how great I'd feel right now, if I had just ended the meeting early. 

I was going to just keep to myself in terms of conversations with my manager, but I think to be on the safe side, I'm going to extend that to the whole team. 

Go back to speak when spoken to... twice. 

I'm tired of messing up. Oh boy, here come the tears. Ugh, this girl.

Maybe I'll just call and apologize. 

What to do I say? 

Well I did. 

I don't feel better.