So I got the news that I didn't get the call center job. Luckily I was driving happily having experienced a cool landmark and the most delicious malaysian curry.
so all is good with the world
now that i'm home and seeing the rejection in black and white, it stings, I have to say.
But what I'm going to do is hunker down on the truth - I can likely do this job until end of august. I'm just going to stop there.
Today I'm going to play with number to make sure I can the things I want taken care of on my current salary.
As far what is next and what I want to happen next - it's kind of up in the air and changes.
Baseline, keep an easy salary as long as possible. Everything after that just has to be based on datapoints on what is achievable.
As far as my current job, what I know is true is - I don't feel comfortable working it long-term, especially not with my current team. If I was put on another team, I don't think it would be without consequence. So I can't work in a legacy of fear.
I've had to fight for myself before, and I'll keep doing it. Because I am the only one responsible for me. And if I chose to live, this is the only world I know.
So yeah, maybe the call center job was too good to be true. Sort of - in terms of timing. If they offered it to me...well I don't know. I don't want to entertain any more unknowns for the time being.
So today, I'm just going to re-arrange my finances.
I couldn't find an external job. I'M VERY PROUD OF MYSELF FOR NOT SPIRALING AND APPLYING TO EVERY JOB I COULD. I just scrolled through Indeed and realized it just wasn't going to happen.
I'm not sure what else I can do at my current company. Going through the interview process is brutal.
So mostly, I'll just decide in September. (If i can wait that long. Likely, I'll just stress and not enjoy my summer...boo...boo you ursula, sea witch!)
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