I ALREADY WON!

 this morning was angsty. i even took a walk and told 2 people. then i had the great idea to read old blog posts. i didn't like remembering all the things. but i stumbled upon many of my EOL plans and death countdown!!

I'm nowhere close to that. I have passed all the EOL milestones i set for myself. my latest ones only gave me 2023 to live. And Bonus day 2024 was like the absolute latest. 

the earliest ones had me checking out even earlier.

i have tried so many things to get this far. 

so yeah, I already won. I lived!! I freaking lived, yo! 

I already won!! i won this game. This game i never wanted to plan and tried so many ways to opt out. no matter how you skin it - i won!!

a mutual friend mentioned their hairdresser didn't make it. i made it!!

i won!

i've been running an entirely different race than everyone. and i won.

so yeah, bump this job. yeah, i go back to the call center. 

this is all gravy. i don't know far back to count, but i'm taking this gravy boat to the finish line!!

i can't spend anymore time thinking about these people or this thing. 

i'm taking as much control of the wheel as i can, while i still can.

so yeah, i decided to pursue the call center job more actively. yeah i give up my free time, but i hope i give up the angst as well.

there were enough details in the archive that bolsters this decision and point of view. 

yeah, call center works sucks. 

but i'm thinking... i finish this last project with widgeting... takes me to sept 2024.... and maybe start back at call center around october, i hope to be able to use my vacation time by then... maybe october....

and just start after training with call center job around beginning of jan 2025... that would be baller...

thinking of getting residency in a no-income state to help boost income, so that will be fun to manage. 

anyway, wanted to document that for the archives.

onward, MERJ!