Fear and loathing and other updates

 I did let fear get the best of me in an exchange with a colleague. I opened the wrong email and stewed for a bit over it. Couple hours of sleep lost, but I'll get better.

I spent quite a bit of my weekend going through the mental exercise of different job outcomes. I thought I would have more information this week, but that leadership decision has been postponed. 

This weekend i thought about living abroad for a year. I had kind of shelved that idea because when i go to visit poorer countries, that usually feels like enough.

But one new beginning begets another. But something about having the next 2 years all structured must have made me feel boxed in because that's where my mind went. In retrospect, maybe I just figured, since I wouldn't be able to enjoy my current social life as I do now, then living abroad would be good cuz I could enjoy the experience of being overseas when I'm off work.

How interest, brain. I hadn't put that together, but clearly my soul prioritizes freedom. I'm just on a perpetual journey of freedom. When I feel boxed in in one area of my life, I seem to leap for freedom in another. 

All these mental obstacles have me really focusing on my quit date: 6226. Freedom date?

My aunt tried to give me a bit of grief about using work as an excuse for not going to my cousin's wedding. But I'm thinking...how many of my things have you not gone too because you don't have money. I felt quite a bit less bad after running through the mental list that's she had many excuses for.

There's a couple of cool events happening in my town right now that I don't want to miss, and it's not a good time to be away from my work setup and frankly, I just don't want to go a wedding. oh, humans.

so yeah....right now job satisfaction is in the air. but i know if i can just hold on to 2026, i'll be okay. and i'm even pretty sure, i'll still ER even if i don't hit my number. i'm mentally just ready to move on. 

toodles!