January 2023 Reflections

 I've lost track of what I wanted to get out of this year. Just a good year where everything goes my way. I was up last night in some GI distress. I haven't had output like that in awhile. It was quite uncomfortable and stressful.

I ended up washing out my bits with a mysteriously hot shower. Then sleeping on the futon so I could be closer to the hall bathroom.

Looking back on the month, wasn't sure how to reflect. So I'll start with my 3 default categories - financial, emotional, physical.

Financial reflections:

On the way to frontloading my 401k. Have contributed $5k+ this month so far. Started uploading docs into my tax portal. Turbo Tax was kind of WAYMISH, so I might try Block. No big spends I can think of. Ended up eating at home quite a bit because of the weather and over all unwellness.

Emotional:

Attended most therapy sessions. But missed the first one of the year because I was sick. It's going well, but I do wonder if I'm still trying to overachieve/perform like Dr. Pat's book says. It's getting me through these lulls of outside human interaction.

Physical:

Was very sick for about a week; then had mild symptoms and fatigue that faded over the month. But at Day 32 I still have a lingering dry cough, although very mild. And had a recent bout of GI distress that's got me a little tired this morning. The overcast day doesn't help. I've been feeding myself mostly. So unless it's a latent reaction to something I ate in the last few days, the last thing that went in my mouth was water from the sink. I've been using the filter because I get these mysterious bouts of GI distress and the only thing I can think of is drinking sink water. So I don't know what the issue is.

Work:

I'm not feeling super great today, so I'm negotiating with myself whether to power through or try to do this later on in the day. Otherwise, other than a series of unfortunate tech issues, work is fine. 

Random impulses

 This morning woke up feeling or wanting to do:

- Buy the chaise, stop letting some rodent dictate my happiness and movements

- Tired of planning and plotting and looking for the best deal; it really just ends up being too much

- Bought some wrist weights yesterday

- So tired of looking for a desk, or finding the best deal

- Tired of plans and rules and structure; while also knowing I need them because the free fall is even more overwhelming

- Randomly looked at apartments and then houses in chapel hill

- Randomly looked at returning to Seattle earlier than planned; flts were only 7k points (which is like $70)

- Even getting macdonald's I had to do research on a $1 juicebox, it's just too much and I'm having trouble finding balance

- Tired of all the tech issues

- Glad there was no homework this weekend, but feel tired for the week already

- This is how it happens and I make no decisions; it all just feels like too much

- Wanted to get that new CC because now I suddenly want to go to Egypt

- What is it with waiting and Nos that I can't accept

- What's the plan for this year anyway? Just to have fun? Date? Fall in Love? Enjoy my 30s? Or pre-40th celebration

Thought about joining a gym; but then had to price assess; so found some activity classes; but do I want to be outside rather than inside

I don't want to make anymore choices. I was doing fine making my own decisions and not feeling like there's a right way, but now I'm back to where I was.  Living in the now but also preparing for this unforeseen future. It's just too much. 

It's like raising kids - with the constant Nos and reminders and check-ins. You have to raise yourself, set boundaries and limitations; and manage the boundaries and limitations you set for other people. It's too much. 

Why can't I just buy it?

 I actually just about bolted out of bed. I was trying to sell myself on a cozy day in bed watching movies. But then I wanted to go to my home office. It's where I spend most of the day during the week. 

It's my routine. In this twilight stage I am re-affirming what I want out of life. Life is easier to manage for me with routine. 

Anyway, as I was in bed, I felt like I was ready to buy the chaise lounge and get some cooked African food. But I'm online and have my purse next to me but don't feel that motivated to do it. And I don't know why.

The chair, perhaps it feels like such a long-term committment and with my resident pest, it's just hard to know where I'll be able to spend time. (On a side note, I think I just decided to abandon whatever is in the drawer under the stove. I never wanted to store cookware that close to the ground anyway. I think I'm going to use some plastic tubs and just accept my life in the "cabin.") Maybe that's it. But I'm sitting here spread out between 2 office chairs. 

And with the cooked food, I'm not sure what my hold up is. Maybe because I don't always want to cook. But I messaged her and hoped she would respond before I got offline. Since I was planning to get another expensive bowl of food from the local place, this felt like a cheaper alternative.

I think overall, I just didn't really have a plan to do these things, so I'm not sure how to make it all work feelings wise. 

I do know that unfreezing the credit card makes me feel spendy! I just want to buy a bunch of stuff. It's so weird. Because my income hasn't changed but the magic credit cards make me feel richer, more free I guess. 

So I messaged the cook and am awaiting a response. 

Here was my routine for this week:

Start Focused work in the morning, try to stay on the computer from 9a to 1p

(with the promise that I could do something else after 1p; did end up working later on Monday and Friday)

Read blog posts or other websites until 5 or 6p

Scrounge for food around 4 or 6p

Watch a show/movie from 6 to 9p

Then try to watch something G-rated or family friendly around 9p until I fell asleep. Sleeping on the futon no longer feels like fun. More like achy bones. So I've been sleeping in my bed the last few nights. 

I was so excited to get up and post something, but I feel stuck. 

What a day! And some recovery

 So weird stuff keeps happening.

My debit card was declined. But maybe I already talked about that. 

Due to new cards being sent, we hope.

Didn't realize it was linked to my Peacock subscription, so we'll see how access for that goes. I'm just going to wait patiently for 2 weeks till the new cards come.

I felt free finally being able to drive my car again. I tried not to think of it as deprivation and more just waiting, but it felt a bit like deprivation when I could finally get in my car again.

Got gas, dropped off trash at dump; picked up Walmart groceries.

Don't you just love Walmart. I can get apples, dental floss, and notebooks in the same trip. I'm so glad I remembered to use the app! And because it wasn't that much stuff, I just dumped it on my metal kitchen table. 

Got my McDs at lunch. Am glad I'm waiting until Fridays to get the deal. 

Today was weird. Last night I was locked out of my work computer. I didn't have the melt down I normally would've. I don't necessarily feel super-secure in my job, and I did wonder if I had done something awful and I was locked out because I was being let go. When I could still access my email I felt better.  I even said a thankful prayer last night just in case God was punishing me. Old habits die hard, friends.

But the issue was resolved by 1p today and I got a bit more work done. 

Got 10 of my 15 CEs done in the meantime. What a great idea I had to knock those out on the iPAD. So glad the iPAD worked!

Was so grateful for phone. Made me wonder about other emergency protocols. What will I do if I'm locked out of house or car? I'm not sure. Think I'll need to keep a cell phone in early retirement after all. 

Work is overall good. Do wonder if I'm contributing enough, but I'll just roll with it until I'm told otherwise. #juniorwriter

Decided to just let the credit card situation go for now. I can have a 3 month reprieve from thinking about it. If Fidelity fails, oh well. I did some pre-approvals and I have options. So that'll work out. I am not going to be deterred with this Year.

Decided on some dates for my March trip. I think I would rather go for a calendar week and use my weekends as travel days vs trying to sneak it during the work day. I hope I don't have to create any content that week. No real objectives other than maybe look out at some water, relax, eat snacks, and get away.

I'm glad I looked up alternatives though for the credit card because it was really going to bug me. Travel hacking isn't achievable for this year, so it's no longer a priority. I have definitely lost that earnest edge I'm observing. That's a good thing.

So yeah, it's been a day! A week. Just wanted to get some words out.

Really hope I can figure out this shoulder pain. Ow!

Think I'm going to harvest $3k in loss the next time I see a dip in the price of my mutual funds. Going to buy the international fund. Again, once I can get my Call Center #1's 401k back up to the price I bought it for, going to simplify a lot of my holdings. 

Accomplishments

- got my first $6 in bank bonuses

- was able to get 2 more $10 debit card transactions for another bonus when I bought gas. Still got 2 to go. Easy choice is to just get 2 $10 giftcards but didn't have that on my list

- not panicking too much that I was a little hard to reach by my Team due to the tech issue

- had a call with committee member that just re-affirmed my decision to keep myself phone-lite

- just decided to roll with the credit card until new debit cards come; i might have said this multiple times by now because I was on the verge of a meltdown

I think that's it. What a weird week but also some good recovery and some nice solves. I'm proud of myself. Haven't decided what I want to do this weekend.

Oh! 

More accomplishments

- took the trash to dump

- quickly vacuumed crumbs from office

- scrubbed a toilet

Feeling good friends. Oh, weekend! I am longing for you. I have no HW, so it should be great. And it's supposed to be in the 60s!!

What a frustrating day in banking!

 Because I like to break my own heart, I thought hey, why wait, why not just apply for the Fidelity card now and maybe you'll have some credit history to help with the Chase card application in May. Fail! 

I was not instantly approved. My application is under Review. After talking to 2 different CSRs, I wanted to cry with frustration.

Luckily, I hopped on reddit and commiserated virtually with some posted comments. CSRs suck and they make minimum wage. Being the petty person that I am, that made me happy. 

I think I'm just frustrated with this whole credit report/score scheme. But you can't fight a bot. That should be my motto.

Oh well!

After clicking around, I realized I can "rebuild" my credit history with a secured card. And there's even 1 with an annual fee that won't be a hard hit. Yay. I underestimated the impact of those hard inquiries. I guess for someone with no credit (so says my report with my new name), it plays a bigger role. Hopefully, I'll get over this nonsense. I'm not sure it's worthwhile to get into it with Fidelity after the denial, but we'll see how I feel.

At least I know there are options- there was a nerdwallet post that pointed me to about 5 unsecured cards. And it seems like Capital One will pre-approve me for a couple cards. But with no 0% interest, I'm not sure what I'm doing. I might have to step away from all this for a bit and regroup on what I'm trying to accomplish.

This was the year where everything was supposed to go my way. I don't really want to come up with contingency plans.

But to top it all off, after yesterday's debacle with Bank 1's CC getting declined for no reason...

Today I tried to place my Walmart order and Bank 2's DC was declined. So tried a second card- declined. I can only reason that since they're sending me updated cards with my new name that they have de-activated my old cards. I'm not even calling or sending a secure message. I've had enough frustrations for 1 day dealing with humans. So since I unfroze my one and only CC, I'm just going with that. I don't like using CC for my daily purchases because I hate the feeling of paying back a creditor. 

Although some like holding onto their coins until the last minute, once I spend something I want that money immediately out of my account. So I'm kind of all over the place with my financial emotions. This was not the disruption I needed right now. 

And I'm so tired of 2factor authentications. So many clicks!

I'm not sure why my finances aren't working right when I finally thought I had everything down to a smooth operating machine but alas. You can't argue with a bot!

So for tomorrow's big errand day, I'm just carrying around the CC because at this point that's the only money I have access to. So if it's not accepted some place, I'm stuck in no-money jail until my new debit cards come.

Can we still blame things on COVID or just the humans? My gosh!

If this is the way this year is starting - 27 days of sickness, credit cards icing me out, my own banks denying me access to my money; I'm not particularly hopeful for the rest of the year.  (Luckily, I've been living without hope for awhile now. And you thought depression wasn't going to serve me well! Joke's on you!)

Thurs, So I showered

 Is it really Thursday? I'm losing track of the days of the week. I actually woke up pretty excited to start my day. I jumped in my lukewarm shower with undesirable water pressure. It was more of a long-rinse. I just couldn't bring myself to use soap. Too much effort.

I'd just been having these weird sweats and felt gross.

I have some shopping to do, and even though I've been putting it off but also looking forward to doing it, I don't feel the motivation at the moment. Maybe when the sun comes back.

I suddenly feel quite sleepy.

I want to work on some paper CEs.

A bit sad one of my bank bonuses didn't post. I thought it was supposed to be super fast. I wonder if I didn't use the right referral. Oh well. I'm going to try not to cry. Tomorrow, my next step is to just do 5 more transfers. And then there's nothing else I can do.

I got a little discouraged last night because I tried to apply for Upgrade's line of credit card. Even with a soft inquiry, I was declined. I actually was going to legitimately use them as a new bank because I really want my current bank to have some alerts. A quick online search led to a NerdWallet review that led me to Upgrade. 

Then when I saw the bonus that comes with their line of credit + checking, I was like, perfect! But now that I wasn't approved for the line of credit, I don't want to open the checking account just yet because it will disqualify me for the bonus in the future. Also, not sure how I missed that on DoC since I'm on their site pretty regularly. I guess they launched in 2021.  Hmm. I might sign up for the DoC newsletter. It'll give me some mail to open.

But so this led me to trying to figure out what's going on with my credit score and these "hard inquiries." It doesn't seem like it's that many, given my recent history of opening 2 to 3 credit cards a year for the last couple years. And I hadn't closed them as abruptly as I originally thought.

From what I can figure, there are 2 things happening. I think the reporting algorithims are having trouble with my name change. When I search for my credit report with Name 1 vs Name 2, I get 2 different credit reports!  (Spoiler: I think moving forward even it makes things a little harder and I get more declines initially, I'm moving forward with Name 2 for banking stuff; I want to extend this to all my life, but I hate using my real name on online forms, so we shall see). 

Anyway, from what I can figure, the one credit card I've had for 10+ years might have stopped reporting as Name 1 to TransUnion when I had Credit Card update my name last year. So I think on Name 1's credit, it looks like I have no open credit cards. 

And for Name 2, it looks like I've only had that credit card for less than a year if it shows up at all. 

And on 1 report - it looks like I have 2 mortgages, and on another, it looks like I have 2 student loans because both were transferred and closed at some point to different lenders. And it doesn't help that we're not paying on student loans right now.

So the reporting agencies are spitting out nonsense that doesn't make sense. I tried explaining this to one CSR and she was not having it. I didn't really understand what was going on with my credit report either because I am still unsure how invested I am in travel hacking. I was just poking around, but now it's turned into this whole thing. Honestly, I'm not that motivated to solve it.

I was wondering how this might impact my applying for the Fidelity card in the future, and I did a quick search and at least they have a reconsideration line so maybe a person can manually look at my stuff and approve me. 

In other news, I tried to buy the Ashley Tibbee chaise lounger after another bone-hitting experience on the futon.

First, I'm pretty sure I tried to buy this same chair while I was at Call Center #1!

Second, a quick search showed three different prices

Ashley: $499 (w/ delivery and tax, it was $620)

Macy's: $649

ACF: $370 (free shipping)

Really! I don't even know what made me decide to look for it in other places. But isn't that funny!

So I wasn't ready to pay $620, so I was deciding between some $200-$300 chaise lounges at Wayfair. They looked fine but the $900 one from Kelly Clarkson looked even better!

When I finally stumbled upon the $370 one I felt like that was a good compromise to get the brand name (and hope that means better). I whipped out my credit card; unfroze it; and it was declined! I was so mystified with all my recent credit problems, that I even called the credit card company. They were no help, they just said try again!

Every year now since about the time I was looking at moving, so around 2019, this bank has let me down 1-3 times where my credit/debit card gets declined for no apparent reason.  (I think that started my new search for a better bank, part 2). 

So I was confused for a little bit. Not believing in signs but just genuinely confused, I decided to wait and sleep on it. Nothing clearer happened. I just don't feel as motivated to buy the chair.

Thing 3: This same thing happened when I tried to buy this chair but with my credit union's debit card! On a completely different site. And that was like at least 5 years ago.  How wild right! 

I don't know what's going on but my capacity for this is diminished. The sun is out, so I'm feeling like I should go run some errands.

Let me see how much of my shopping list I can actually order for curbside pickup at Walmart!

In other news, I am getting more comfortable with my new life and my new name. It definitely wasn't what I envisioned but here we are.

(Side note: when trying to look into the Walmart app, I just checked my messages and the French girl finally responded! I was a little bit thrown off when she didn't respond. So this makes more sense.)

I really want to start stretching because yesterday my fingers and elbow were pretty achy and I looked up arthritis and it can result from inactivity. I don't know how to motivate myself. Repetitive actions with no purpose just isn't something I can do longterm. 

I think when things settle COVID/weather wise, I will just try to do seasonal sports - that way, I pay for it, so I'll be more inclined to go, and it's in short bursts so it's more manageable and I can get variety. Top of mind - rock climbing, dance, softball.  Well at least I have a why - don't get arthritis. It has nothing to do with living longer (or boosting my mood). I just hate pain. And it has nothing to do with being in shape to attract a man. 

So that's where I am. Toodles!

Today is a good day

 Accomplishments

- therapy

- I made a reference list for one of my deliverables without crying!!

- put in an IT ticket a day or so ago, followed up and got my issue resolved!

I was waiting for a catchup with a colleague that didn't happen. But in the end I'm glad, I got this done. No EndNote for this document. 

It took about 90 minutes to put it all together. Maybe it would've been quicker with EndNote, but I'm just so not comfortable using EndNote yet, that I did it pretty manually. Just copy and pasting.

But now that I had success with this and got to click around in EndNote briefly. I hope I greased my wheels enough to be able to tackle the larger doc. 

Anyway, today is Wednesday and I'm about done for the day. I have the worst neck pain. It's raining outside and if I make it to Friday, I'll only have spent $1.50 in two weeks! That's amazing. 

I was tempted a bit today to go get some takeout but the rain has put the kibosh on that.

I'm hoping the easy bonus pays out today or tomorrow, otherwise I need to re-read the terms to make sure I'm doing it right!

P.S. - Was January always this cold?

Tues, Rice and a twitch

 I had just heated my default pot of rice when I was looking in my closet for a misplaced can of corned beef. Maybe it went out with all the stuff I tossed out of the cabinets.

I might need to get a little tub of smart balance and some spam to keep on standby. My last Feb 2022 haul of freezer food has come in handy especially this week and the last since I'm trying (for no good reason) not to fill up my car with gas until Friday. For what reason? Don't ask me. Just to see I guess. 

I just got used to filling up when I would take the trash and I didn't have enough trash to take to the dump, so I was waiting until I had it.

So I'm planning to make a trip to get some groceries/household supplies, gas, and trash dump this Friday. But if I feel inspired since work has been work-y, I give myself full permission to do it earlier. 

I thought I would want to today, but it was not as warm outside as the sun would have me believe. I did check the mail and my debit card finally came for one of my bank bonuses.

I paid $65 in 6 transactions on my internet bill. I still have to use the debit card 4 more times to meet the requirements.

I tried to do a gift card to Food Lion but reasoned that I don't want to have to remember to have my phone on me because that's not my usual flow. McDonald's e giftcard would be great if I could load it on the app, but I didn't see an easy way to do that.

So since I couldn't overpay for internet, I just put the card in my wallet and hope to use it either on my big errand trip or get 4 $10 giftcards to Food Lion. Since the card is linked to my budget app, I can still track the expense.

That's the only downside with the requirements that require a spend. It interrupts my current workflow. But it's usually worth it especially when I can do it in batches.

Southstate denied me. Oh well.

I was going to do an alternate direct deposit for my new one, but since they only required 2 deposits, I just opted to add them to payroll.

I'm still considering:

- PNC

- First Tech

PNC's $5k deposit and min balance is a little steep for me right now. So I may have to wait. 

Oh, so I really came up here to wait out the timer on the Knorr Sides rice dish I found in my pantry. I didn't even know it was there. Now mind you, my pantry is pretty bare. 

I added some mixed veggies and frozen shrimp from the freezer stash and that plumped it up a bit.

I did decide not to to do a big COVID haul this year but I guess mixed veggies, frozen shrimp, and frozen tilapia are my frozen staples. They're easy to prepare without much forethought. I have 1 more lb of frozen ground turkey that I have to utilize. That's harder because I would have to think ahead to thaw it out. 

I was going to make Chili; then just a bean and meat dish; but still nothing. I might try to use it to make stir fry with my sauces. 

But honestly, I don't prioritize a lot of meal prep. I don't always feel like eating, and I rarely feel like cooking. I mostly will feel like baking and feel like I should eat something nutritious before drowning in sugary treats.

I had the waffle mix out for awhile but yet to make any.

Anyway, today was a work day! I got my EndNote issue resolved for the time being. And my 2 deliverables are on review. So I can take a bit of a breather.

Tomorrow during our very early team meeting, I might tackle some references. Actually, no, I can't do that because I might try to use EndNote and that changes everything! But honestly if it's faster to just copy and paste the references for one of the shorter deliverables, I might just try to do that so I can knock it out versus messing with EndNote.

Anyway, toodles!

P.S. - did I tell you I've kinda ix-nayed the Round the World Trip. At least not for a slow travel sitch. I think I might try to split up my time-away with 3 sessions this year. Right now, I'm thinking the default of a Summer and early Fall trip to Seattle. But I've been hankering for a warm December, so I might add Miami for 6 weeks. All 3 short term rental companies I'm familiar with have properties there, so that makes the lodging search that much easier!

Long day at work

 It's after 7p, so I spent about 11 hours working today. I'm done for the week! This weekend will be amazing. I don't feel so bad about taking it easy on the lighter days now.

After around 5p, it was a lot of technical issues. 

From about 8a to 4p, I worked straight on one deliverable. Then had time to work on the second and get it started.

Yay, me!

Now I'm going to finish the last of my canned soup from yesterday and call it a day. 

I was going to right more, but I suddenly ran out of energy. 

P.S. - Although I was getting eye twitches all weekend, I'm really glad I didn't work on the document over the weekend. Not only because I actually was able to focus and finish most of it today, but also because this would've meant a really long day over the weekend PLUS a full day today. Yay! 

Be still, my brain

 I wanted to get some words out to help quiet my brain. I don't know about this no working on weekend stuff. It's not like I'm so busy during the week that I'm putting in 40 hours of focused work. This may be a manufactured boundary than one that really makes sense. 

It's really for old me that was over-achieving and overworking. Because I certainly hate the dread and mind circles that come with leaving work undone for Monday.

So I'm up...been up since 5a for an unrelated matter and can't quiet my mind. I have 2 deliverables due today but I'm going to try to push the second one to mid-day tomorrow.

It is actually a bit nice to be in my room with the laptop and have this quiet time to myself before the workday starts. 

This weekend was filled with churning. I guess I'm collecting the drips now. When I first started the churning, I made a point to only seek out bonuses with at least $200 awards. But I've now signed up for 2 or three that are around $100 or less because the lift was so little.

It also doesn't help that after awhile there are less left to do. So I think that's okay.

Things that make my life easier/better

- A space heater

- Quiet time before work

- my toaster oven

- the internet

- access to a self phone if needed

I just wanted to highlight some things because my mind is all over the place. This is undesirable stress. I just want to bury my head in the sand and not talk to anyone till this work gets done. Did we already discuss I only like my work because of the downtime. And I think they're adding another project to my plate this Friday. Noooooooooooo!

I was trying to plot my trip around the world. I really haven't accounted for the amount of vacation time I would need. Mostly I was focused on housing. I was reminded how outside the US, the accommodations look a little different. To date, I don't think I've actually ever stayed in an AirBnB. I've booked twice and cancelled. 

I just prefer big business. There I said it. I like a hotel chain or even the short term rental companies I discovered last year. I don't want a YMMV experience when I'm a 24-hour flight away from home with no phone or anyone to receive me. 

So maybe the trip around the world may be a case of long eye. It also may be a case of - I got this money to burn. 

So money I guess wasn't the reason I wasn't traveling. I may have to take it back to the drawing board to see if this trip is actually achievable with my personal limitations. 

I just liked the idea of it. I think on my last fantasy run I was at like 8 cities for $12k. Considering each of these trips could potentially be like $2k rdtrp in economy class, it feel like a steal to get that for business class! 

So A Purple Life actually did a good job of breaking down which cards and points she used for award travel over the last couple of years. It didn't inspire me as much as I'd hoped. 

I think when there's the option of doing it all at once vs taking multiple trips a year and having to do all that planning every year, I choose the do-it-all at once. I guess I haven't fully bought into it as a hobby. 

But for now this will probably remain as a fantasy unless I can figure out housing. Outside of AirBnb, there are just regular hotels which all of a sudden seem so much smaller and confined when you've been browsing whole apartments!

So that was my weekend. I've noticed my left wrist now gets a bit sore after being on the laptop for like an hour or so. Not good. I will now have 2 dysfunctional wrists. 

I'm excited to have a plan for my credit cards and can keep that out of mind for like 5 months. I'm excited for my new bank bonuses, and can't believe I've been in the game for long enough to actually be able to churn bonuses I already had before! I'm old.

This was my first weekend without FaceTime and I didn't even notice. Outside of looming work stress, it was a pretty chill weekend by myself.

Still have mild symptoms like cough and mucus.

I wish I could work from bed today but I have way too much to do. Usually I would be motivated to get started but here I am. 

I give myself permission to treat myself at the end of today or tomorrow if I need extra motivation - so that means I can get gas and get something yummy for dinner; or run an errand; alright, let's try to knock this out in the next 4 hours. 

Round the World for $20k? And Some Credit Card Strategy Chatter

 Well as I'm wont to do on Saturdays it seems, I got sucked into a world of endless clicking for my next adventure.

This time while just checking on flights or award travel (can't remember which), I stumbled upon what's called a Round-the-World ticket offered by the different airline alliances. I was on the AA page so it took me to their alliance.

For funsies, I clicked through their robo-agent and plotted a trip from NC - Cairo - Bali - Sydney - NC. For economy class, with just a few clicks, I could get that flight for a bit over $6k.

For business class, I could get that trip for about $12k. So I figured if I added $8k for food and lodging, I could round out a trip around the world for $20k. That is my lifestyle budget for the year after all!

I originally thought 30 days and thought, whoa that's a steep price to spend in 30 days! Then I tried 60 days...and seriously tried to think about making this trip work.

Could I do this with points? How long would it take? Would I need > 1 million miles? How long would that take? Do I want to make that my ultimate travel hacking goal? 

Then I thought, I don't even like traveling that much. Aren't I done with long-term goals. I think the most I want to commit to is 1 year. But is that just my ethos for this year?

It's such a lofty goal for something I'm having so much trouble getting started.

In the end, I was like who cares, if it came down to it, I would just pay the $12k. Who cares! There's not actually a budget wars or a frugality trophy at the end of all this. I think I liked the structure it would provide the year though (traveling for 2-3 months).

Anyway, caught in the click and thought spiral, I headed over to the next alliance group to see if they offered the same thing. They did!

This robo-agent wasn't as helpful because you just had to pick your destination like you would book a multi-leg travel ticket. 

But since it showed you all the destinations you could go, I was overwhelmed at first then after awhile got into it. Bali was not an option (and really I picked that city because it seemed so foreign and out there). I had already justified it in my brain that I would go for the yummy Asian food and beaches (nature), I guess.

So with Star Alliance, I chose Thailand. When I realized I could keep clicking places and the trip price didn't change much or at all, I got a little fancy.

So my new trip around the world was: NC - Cairo - Tel-Aviv (cuz why not) - Tokyo (hello Terrace House!) - Thailand (cheap Asian food) - Singapore (some more delicious Asian food, from what I read in Crazy Rich Asians) - Australia - Tahiti (cuz it sounds cool) - then back to NC!

What started out as window shopping turned into a few more hours of clicking around!

The non-WAYMISH nature of the easy clicking made it all seem so possible!

The most recent place the cool kids seem to go is Chiang Mai but I couldn't get that city to work for some reason even though it said I could fly there - but not from Tokyo I guess. So then I was clicking around the internet to see the difference between Chiang Mai, Phuket, and Bangkok. I figured I could spend the bulk of my trip there because by now this 30 day fantasy trip was morphing into 3 months. 

Looks like Bangkok was more city, Phuket was beachy, and Chiang Mai was the cheapest but tucked away in the mountains. On AirBnb, Chiang Mai was cheaper typically but it was just hard to know how available all the cheap easy food would be from just AirBnB listings. I didn't have any pre-determined objectives for this fantasy trip, so I tried to think about what I would want. 

I still like nature and tend to in theory prefer the mountains and a trail, but in practice never actually do these things. I like the way the beach looks in pictures, but kind of don't enjoy being that hot. And I wasn't sure being in a bustling city was going to give me a tranquil vibe. 

Meh, then I clicked out of all the windows and laughed it off.

But we know that's not the end. I thought more - could this be a fun 40th birthday trip? But would it be even better to take advantage of the winter months. Although NC has been lauded by me for these mild winter months, it's not necessarily the best place in all the world to be for winter. It's still cold and dark (and the pest problem doesn't help). But I was also in Maryland for half of December and I think it's a bit colder there. 

Anyway, so then I looked at date that included November and December and the first week of January 2024.

Could I really do this? I started to shun Seattle. So I'm sure now I'll be seeing more mentions of Thailand and trips around the world. Ha! 

But then this morning, I came to the swift realization that I've been sick for about a month (just forecasting to the end of January), and who knows what COVID is doing. I don't see myself signing up for 3 months of sickness. People get sick when they travel, especially to third world countries. So with that, the thoughts of taking a trip around the world started to float away in the thought bubble it came in on.

But I did notice a pattern and want to re-affirm some affirmations:

Knowns:

- I want to save $36k/yr; that's like my only real objective for this year

 --- I say this because it gives me some room to spend more without feeling like I'm not saving enough

- I don't really want anymore long-term goals or hard things

- I like the idea of escaping for 4 months each year

      ---(not sure if there's a longer term message here)

- I want to go somewhere more inviting for the dark winter months (I had some simmerings of this this past December)

It's tough though because there is one paradigm of radical acceptance of the past, but also, I like using that to be like okay, I don't want this thing to happen again. So this year I was kind of picking out the good parts of last year and replicating it and doing everything I can to minimize the bad parts. 

The thing is, I still don't really enjoy traveling enough to make these grand long-in-advance plans. And I think I have to be okay that the cost of that is higher expenses. As much as I would love to be stable enough to plan a trip 11 months in advance, that's just not me. 

Considering I only have 1 goal for this year says enough. 

So yeah, that's what I've been up to this weekend so far. 

In other news, I slept in my bed last night. I've been sleeping in the office while I recover because the cold back bedroom seemed to be aggravating my symptoms but I hadn't been sleeping well the last couple of nights, so I decided to switch things up since I just have a few mild symptoms left. There was some night coughing and nose running and woke up a little stuffy, but I slept for about 7 hours! Which is awesome. 

Probably waking up a little stuffy reminded me of travel sickness. 

In my fantasy travel clicking, I wasn't sure how I would work out using my vacation time - just on the travel days or try to use dedicated lumps of time to stay in one place. Unlike other bloggers, this didn't make me want to quit my job so I wouldn't have these restrictions. As I've said, I don't "love" traveling, it's just the thing people my age and online community do that doesn't seem that bad. 

Credit Card Strategizing

So before the fantasy travel clicking, I was trying to figure out my credit card strategy. Basically, based on the conversation I had with the Chase reconsideration line, I've got it stuck in my mind that trying to get their current $900 bank bonus which requires you to keep $15k in a savings account for 3 months will be my best shot to try again for the Chase Sapphire card. 

All the bloggers point to this card as the card to have and since I have no desire to learn the hard way this has moved to the top. Also, it's the one that gave me the most information when I tried to get reconsideration. 

My upcoming spend is for my summer trip to Seattle, so that just seemed like the perfect time. But when I did the backdating, I would ideally need to apply for the credit card around May 1, so it would have enough time to arrive for me to book my lodging later in May.

So to have 3 months of account history with them, I would need to open a bank account by Feb 1 and fund the 15k within 30 days. Yikes!

I just don't have $15k lying around! What's worse is I did at the end of December but before I ran into these troubles, I bought a $10k series iBond and a $5k brokered CD from my FIRE Cash Stash. At the time, I wanted this money inaccessible to me because I was tempted to invest it. I had once considered keeping it more accessible so I could churn it, but I wasn't stable enough yet, so locking it away in CDs was the better option.

But now, I am more stable with my investment choices. I've been steadily at $500k for over a week. Anyway, I digress.

So I was trying to pool money together from all my regular accounts and just kept coming up short, that's the short version of the story. 

So for the moment I think the best I can do is open it later in Feb and hope that Feb date makes it seem like I have a 3 month history when I apply in May and maybe need to talk to someone at the reconsideration line (I might just try calling before applying, not sure). Quick interwebs search says don't wait more than 30 days. (We get bonuses in March and one of my last credit union CDs get released in March, so I should be able to scrounge up $15k by mid-March.)

Anyway, that's the easiest choice and while the puzzle to figure it out was fun, it still didn't work. But for posterity, here's my current plan. I split up my strategies into two different objectives and plans. This is from reading way too many articles on travel hacking/ award travel. I just wanted a focus on which cards to apply for since I don't really know what I'm doing yet (I realized this happened with saving/investing. I just took it in small bites. Even 5 years later, I'm still probably not at my most optimized, but sometimes I just want to get started.)

Travel Hacking Strategy

Objective: get to 100k miles

Plan:

1. Chase

- Sapphire Preferred

- United Explorer

*The Chase card is every blogger's favorite and they have more known rules and players so there's a lot of information about them. They also sponsor a lot of co-branded cards as I'm learning. 

2. AA/ Citi Advantage

- I've gotten this card twice in the past, most recently I didn't get the bonus because it hadn't been 48 months

- they have a nice sign-up bonus, I've had success getting the card in the past (twice), and they fly out of my regional airport (I only have Delta and AA to choose from)

This helped to tune out the noise and give me something to focus on as I racked the first 100k miles.

I realize now, the only way I'll be able to meet these spends is by the travel I had projected for 2023. This is why I probably was just churning low tier cards - low spends. And really, I planned to stop after the first couple because it was a bit stressful and disruptive to my automated processes.

Now that I have new information, in those recent denials, I've modified my original Seattle Credit Card strategy a bit:

Seattle Credit Card Strategy

Objective: 

- get a 0% intro card to pay for the trip so I have time to cash flow it and track expenses away from regular spending +/- cashback/bonus

- get an airline card for free checked bag +/- bonus miles

Plan

1. Fidelity 0% card

- there are a couple other 0% intro cards that offer a $200 bonus and some cashback; but given my recent denials, I want to bet on as close to a sure thing as possible; I have a healthy relationship with Fidelity because they are my broker; this does not appear to be a high tier card; there are even 0% intro cards with much longer intro offers, but again this seems to be my best bet

2. American Gateway card

- doesn't have free checked bag, but has a $50 statement credit and 10k bonus miles; it is a lower tier card than the AA Advantage (at least I think so), so I should be able to get it. Technically, this is just $150 bonus and most of the lower tier cards I have churned in the past offer $200 back. But again with this new information about denials, I'm not taking any chances. And psychologically the statement credit will feel like a free checked bag. And maybe having that relationship with AA will help my case when I apply for the AA/Advantage card in the future.

- Alternatively, if Chase denies me again in the Travel Hack Strategy, I might be tempted to just go for the AA Advantage card for the bonus miles. 

I plan to apply for all these cards around May 1 of this year. So that will give me a good chunk of time (and at least 3 months) since my last applications!

So yes, friends that was my Saturday, clicking and fantasizing and to an extent re-affirming.

I thought I would want to do some work today, but I have no desire to be on this laptop for anything other than fun. It might be a late night tomorrow, but it'll be worth it not to work today. 

Other than that, it should be a nice cozy day. So glad I baked those muffins on Friday. I will probably read some blog posts and click around some fantasies. I'm leaning more toward spending November, or at least December somewhere warm and nice. That may mean skipping out on a Fall Trip to Seattle. I'm definitely getting more okay with just spending my full travel budget.

Not gonna lie - a part of me wonders if in 3 years of spending $20k (what seems frivolously), I'll wish I'd saved that $60k for something like a car or a downpayment on a nicer house. What if I wake up and suddenly realize life is worth living and wished I hadn't spent the last 10 years "wasting" money! She laughs. Okay, well that was a funny joke.

Considering my basic overall goal for this year was: Live, I think I'll be good on the regret front.

That's enough of an update. It's time for cozy movies and muffins. 

Fri, Jan 20, Phew, I made it!

 I was up around 6a but definitely not feeling as groggy as yesterday. I fell asleep shortly before midnight. So maybe I only need 6 hours of sleep? Who knows. 

It was pretty warm last night. I think I might try sleeping in my bed tonight since it's warming up a bit. My cough is still there but no longer productive, at least not for the last couple days.

The pest problem still troubles me but I try to work around it.

I baked some more 1 cup cupcakes last night and ate it with a generous dollop of frosting. I only used the egg white because something felt off the last time I made it with 1 whole egg. I used the cute new heart cupcake pan I got from the dollar store. It tasted fine to me with just the egg white.

I didn't want to waste the yolk, so I dreamed about a cozy weekend with 2 muffins each morning Fri to Sun. So this morning I used the egg yolk in the Jiffy blueberry muffin mix. I originally was going to just add the yolk to the whole egg for some richness since I can't use butter or milk. But then at the last minute decided to make it just with the yolk.

When I looked in the toaster oven, they looked a bit strange but they smelled so fragrant. I think that's how Jiffy got me as a loyal customer. The smell. I haven't tried them yet because I got sidetracked with actual work!

I was so elated to realize the meeting I had later was optional for me! Woo-hoo!

So I checked up on some pending personal tasks. Still no word on the 2 bank bonuses I applied for. Typically, it's an instant approval or something to submit documents, but I've heard nothing. 

I went to check the mail because I still haven't gotten a debit card for one of the bonuses that I need to make 10 debit card transactions for. Oh well, I'm surprisingly not that stressed about it.

The I got a check from freeshipping.com that I was not expecting. So I finally felt motivated to download a mobile app for a bank to do the deposit. Since my land bank is in my old name and the 2 checks were in my new name. 

It still makes me nervous to have all my banking stuff so easily accessible so we'll see if I keep the app or not. It makes me nervous to write 'for x bank only' because once my deposit was rejected, so then what do I do with that!

Accomplishments

- checking mail

- checking up on bank bonuses

- depositing 2 checks

- work tasks

- baking muffins

- baking cupcakes

- rescheduling a personal meeting

Oh yesterday I mixed my favorite popcorn brand with some corn pops and it was the perfect snack! I'm telling you, my passion is snacks and tv. And a sunny day. I live for that! I found some reality shows for this weekend - I think Bethenny's new reality show about finding her assistant with my new found snack sounds like a pretty sweet weekend. 

I have to cancel my free trial by Sunday, so I'll probably do it Saturday. So I might watch a couple episodes tonight and then finish tomorrow. 

I was thinking, my therapist wants me to go on anti-depressants. His patients have had good results. How do you say - will anti-depressants help change the way I get treated as a black woman in America? 

I was worried he wouldn't keep me as a patient if I decided not to do that, so I asked and it won't be an issue. Accomplishment!

Getting a bit overwhelmed with all the work I have to do to put 2 documents in review by Tuesday. Yikes!

I think there are some early murmurings that give me hope that I might have a manageable workload that I can work on away from home this summer. We shall see.

I did quite a few work tasks this morning. I think I might format some tables (and maybe some references) and call it a day. 

My brain is too tired for content. 

Jan 19, 2023 - One day at a time

 I think it's okay to have a routine that's just one day at a time, or 1 week at a time. I'm someone who is overwhelmed with the vastness of the future.

This week's routine has involved

- sleeping on the lumpy futon in my home office (I'm convinced the colder back bedroom is aggravating my lingering respiratory symptoms)

- haven't left the house for silly food runs (I need to fill up and I'm trying to see if I can hold out until next week; I've also been eating at home more, well yesterday there were free nuggets, so I had to get them)

- focused work till 1p

- trying to read or click around the internet until 5p

- watching G-rated movies after 9p

But today I feel groggy. I think it's too much sleep. But I don't know how to stay awake past 10. I had gotten good at it, but lately it's hard to stay awake when it gets dark. Even with the light on!

I've rediscovered SPAM, I always forget how yummy it tastes. So I eat that with rice. I was frying fish, but the smoke was aggravating my symptoms because it fills up the whole house and it's too much work to open the windows downstairs since I have rods in them to keep them from being open from the outside. Criminals don't know how much work they add to our days. 

I want to do work today but I'm a bit overwhelmed of how exactly to get started. 

I might just give myself some time off today.

Everyday I choose again not to solve any big problems this year. Nothing. I'm not figuring out where to live or what my life will look like. I just want to stick with the plan I have and figure it out later. The way I see it, I have at least 20 years to just keep trying things until I get it right. That can be comforting sometimes.

I saw a map of chasing good weather for 52 weeks, that looks fun.

In the end, I'm glad I'm home for Q1 of this year because my workload is high. It's nice working from my home office with all my equipment.

My only immediate concerns are whether I want to scramble and go after the Chase bonus. I got the coupon code so I could wait. The real pro for doing it now is I would have some runway to establish a relationship with Chase to apply for the Sapphire card earlier - like when I actually have money to spend.

Honestly, it's just easier to default to my plan. It's not on my plan for this quarter so it's not a high priority.

Oh, friends! Yesterday I sat in on a meeting with all US folks and I forgot how awful it was. The Mikes and Daves were just virtually bro-ing it up and it was vomit-inducing. I had lamented previously about how I'm tired of listening to all the different accents on my team and the timezones. But I take it back. I'll take my international team over Mike and Dave any day!

Oh, perspective.

Well tomorrow I get to eat Macdonald's. Yay! 

It's $76 to break the CD. That's more than I thought. That's at least a week of groceries. I mean it's less than the $900 I can make, but not like the $20 I was thinking.

Ok, I guess I'll just wait and see. Well, the CD is set to mature March 3, so it's only like a month away. So I can decide after Feb 15 if I want to open the Chase accounts. 

I'm just waiting for my 10:30a meeting because I don't want to get started on any focused work and get distracted. 

Not a sign - Egypt

 Magically on a call today, my co-worker mentioned Egypt and we got to talking about it. Old Me would have thought it was a sign that I must go to Egypt now ..in March at the soonest. Despite the fact that I'm still sick and not slated to recover until end of January.

I can't say I haven't given it a second thought because I have. Wouldn't it be a nice kickoff for my 39th year. But I can't see myself putting that much stress on my body after 6 weeks from being sick for a month.

And really, those are aspirational timelines. I'm not planning on buying a ticket until I'm 100% better.

But the point is, it's not a sign of anything other than Egypt is a place people visit sometimes. Not only had my co-worker been, but also our mutual co-worker who was the one who had most recently been.  And she even said for a while "shekh shekh" (I don't know what she said, some beachside town) was the place to go for people in the UK.

And then the book I just finished the main character got matched in Seattle. And I feel like there was one other story I read recently that took place in Seattle.

I can look at these experiences now as just life events that have no connection to or implication for me. 

Only Achievable Things

 That's my theme for this year, I decided recently.

There are so many reminders of my old way of thinking and doing things. Without a metric, I just feel lost.

In the spirit of My Perfect Year, I'm just putting a moratorium on unachievable things. 

This definition is fluid, but I just want to have a good, predictable year.

Being sick for the 18th day in a row isn't helping, but I soldier on.

Some things I've been ruminating about:

- travel to Egypt - now or later? exoticca or Gate1? fly from NC or NYC?

- look for a second remote job (this is recent development)

- dating - Sean or Dan or casual?

- Seattle - what to do when I get there?

- travel hacking

- remediating travel hacking potential

- Chase $900 bonus

This weekend was weird. It started out fine but between Sunday and Monday, I got weepy and a little down. I think I just lay down in the same position most of Monday. I didn't even want to get up and play on my computer. 

The Chase bonus seemed really fun and I wanted to interrupt some of my processes to make it happen. Just for the thrill of it I guess. But I'm spending more time observing myself when I have these intense desires to do things. Often, disruptive things. 

It's almost easier just to let the feeling pass then to try to rationalize or justify things. Now that I have this general feeling of living on borrowed time with minimal deathly consequences, it's a bit easier to let things go... by like a fraction of a percent. 

I don't have any goals for this year, so I just look at my loose plans of achievable things.

For the Chase bonus - the main appeal in doing it now is trying to position myself favorably to reapply for one of their travel hacking cards. While trying to reduce/ optimize was a goal for this year, aggressive travel hacking was a new development. I don't know if I'm being too flexible or too rigid. 

But I tried 7 cards, and this was not something easily achievable, so I'm deciding now it can't be a priority. 

So for now, I just want to wait until I have enough money in my accounts to easily make the Chase bonus happen. I don't have 15k in any one account that's easily accessible. So while it would be a few clicks to pool the money together, the urgency isn't really there in reality. Yes, the bonus might get pulled and it's hard to turn your nose up at $900, but I need to stop thinking that everything is a once in a lifetime thing - who cares. It's not an essential life activity.

The gaming of it is fun though, so if I decide that, I might do it. But I'm tired of thinking about it.

I watched two shows and read a romance novel that triggered old romantic notions. I even very lightly thought about rejoining a dating app. But it's a no for me. So I thought about Dan and Sean quite a bit yesterday. I tried to daydream about them. 

I'm on this kick of trying to figure out what I enjoy/ what I want my life to look like. When I tried to picture a future with a partner, my normally wistful imagination came up short. I couldn't really come up with anything achievable.

I was thinking even if I make it to a million and FIRE, $40k/yr is not a good wage to live alone in Seattle.  Purple did it on $20k/yr but I don't see this intense expense tracking and budget goals as being longterm parts of my life. I think award travel would be a fun hobby but I want my regular life to be easy too. 

But I'm doing my best not to think too far into the future, I just want to have one good year - where everything goes according to plan.

And the least number of items I have in my plan, the better. 

(Also - I emailed my friend Max to test a theory I have against my therapist. He said not to contact Max, but he's been wrong about a few things, so I'm curious what will happen next. I guess nothing really. I just told Max to keep in touch. So no expected response. No feelings.)

Have I written here about my 3 fund portfolio shenanigans. Basically, I adjusted my 401k to reflect the 3 fund portfolio from the boglehead wiki. They were right, that's exactly what my target date fund was doing! I just eliminated the bonds since I have my FIRE Cash Stash.

It boosted my confidence to understand what was going on and to make the change.

It's nice to see my portfolio trending upwards. The fees in each of my old 401k are nominally more than my current job's, so it would be optimal to just roll them over, but I still have pause for some reason.

Now that I understand more about tax loss harvesting and the 3 fund portfolio, I feel even more confident to end the relationship with my robo advisor. I liked seeing all the different ETFs they were investing in. 

But I think, yeah for the sake of simplicity, it will be nice to have just the 1 401k account; and the 2 brokers - utilizing a 3 fund portfolio (but my iBonds will be my bonds instead of the bond fund). And then after that, I'm done with active management of my accounts. Just set it and forget it until 1 mil. 

On Tax Loss Harvesting, Depression, and...Cresting $500k again

 As I was clicking around yesterday, tax loss harvesting started to make sense. My budget app was telling me that I'd made about $10k in capital gains and dividends. And an online calculator was suggesting I might not have had enough tax withheld. 

On further examination, I looked in all three broker statements and I only see about 7.5k in capital gains and dividends.

I understood that I could sell some things at a loss and deduct up to $3k from my taxable income. But on further reading, I now understand that I can harvest loss to cover ALL my gains PLUS $3k from my taxable income.

Whoa! Considering my holdings in my taxable brokerage account is all sitting way below what I paid for it, this would have been fairly easy to do!

I just couldn't figure it out in time. I didn't really know what it all meant or even if I wanted to do it. It's too late to do anything about it now, but I know for the future.

I think a lot of things are going to swing up this year (2023), and I know once they reach a certain point I want to change my holdings.

So I've been thinking about pre-emptively going for the $3k in loss against ordinary income while I still can.

My robo advisor does tax loss harvesting automatically. So, I'm curious what my options will be if I end my relationship with them. Also, if I'm planning on putting all my money in one index fund, how will I harvest any future losses? Maybe it's moot if your portfolio is just a one fund portfolio.

Maybe I'll re-read a simple path to wealth. I remember there being some sort of 3-fund portfolio recommendation. We shall see. 

Anyway, that's my updated understanding of tax loss harvesting.

I also wanted to celebrate that I've reached $500k again across all accounts. Which is awesome! I haven't seen this number since April 2022. So it's nice to see it again. 

I have the Sunday morning blues....again.

I think just the start of the new week of...this is my life again.

Hi, my name is MERJ, and I'm a woman living with depression. 

Enough of the days I just don't enjoy life. 

They say that's what depression is, but for me it's just regular life.

I don't know if it's something that's new, or if I've had it for 10 or 30 years, but it feels very familiar. 

Yesterday, I watched Season 2 of the Sex Lives of College Girls. I loved it, but it did stir up some old romantic notions. I used to think that's what life is really like.

I really have to work to redefine my relationship with television shows- they are a work of fiction, someone's imagination, no matter how much I want them to be real. That's nobody's life. 

I've been sick now for 16 days. Was the trip to Maryland worth it? When I tally up the loss, it doesn't seem that way. I don't know that I see myself returning to Maryland for any good reason. Probably a funeral.

When I went in 2021, I remember thinking no earlier than every 2 years. Now, I don't think I ever need to go back.

What's more, the fact that I'll be sick for at least a month, limits me from traveling far on my birthday. I hate that I listened to my therapist. My body panicked about traveling to MD, and I should have listened to my body. It affected my work, and it affected my leisure time. This isn't how I wanted to start this year off. It also affects my ability to work. I was behind a week; I get exhausted easily, and the trip wasn't that fun. 

I've been thinking more about Sean and Dan, but I know it's just the depression/ loneliness talking. These feelings aren't real. I stressed myself out so bad, my eye started twitching. 

When I go back this summer, I'll probably reach out because telling myself not to, will only make things worse. I was trying to figure out when I get back on the dating apps- what my story is going to be - that I'm only there for the summer? That I've moved? That I'm checking it out? 

But I know now, that marriage or a long-term relationship is not achievable, so I have to set my sights on just casual dating and/or a summer fling. This time I will expect nothing when I leave. 

Maybe I'll do some iteration of, I'll just see how it goes. I lived in Seattle for four months last year, and really enjoyed it. ... I spent a lot of time here last summer, and just got back into town a week ago. 

- I came here for a visit last summer, and ended up staying 4 months. I had so much fun, I decided to come back and just see how things go. I work remotely, so I can live pretty much anywhere. 

I still plan to follow some of the advice in Dr. Pat's book in terms of how to act, just this time the goal isn't to be engaged w/n a year since that's not achievable for me. As for physical stuff, I think I will probably not do it, but if I am tempted, definitely protected relations only. No more risky behavior.  I don't have the same goals to hook up with someone my age or to kiss a cute boy. 

It'll be more to casually date, and practice the things in the book. I do want to try a paid service though - like Match or eHarmony. But maybe in the Fall since I'll be staying longer. 

So 3 years later, did I reduce my housing cost? And other financial musings

 It's another glorious Saturday and as I'm wont to do, I'm perusing my finances.

I'm excited about tax time, so I found some motivation and downloaded statements from 2 of my brokers. I just realized I forgot to do the third one! I got distracted! 

And I aimed to get statements from my banks but alas, the train stopped.

I did however make some notes that I really need to get out of these target date funds. The brief look I took at my statements, showed the date funds hover around 9% in bonds. Given my 2 year FIRE Cash Stash, that just seems a bit unnecessary. 

In mild haste, I went ahead and moved my robo advisor allocation to 100% stocks (was 93% and was 80% before that). The broker showed less than $150 tax implication. I can manage that!

I'm still waiting for my oldest 401k to bounce back before moving everything to simpler index funds. I'm going to try my best to set it and forget it. 

Honestly one reason I've been wanting to leave my robo advisor is the mountain of tax forms I get. They make too many trades that I have to upload. In these early retirement twilight years, I am leaning toward simpler everything. 

So I did that and just made a mental note to move to index funds as soon as the time is right. 

But as I was about to shut my laptop, I asked myself did I ever calculate if I reduced my housing cost.

It feels cheaper because my mortgage is cheaper than my rent, but there are also higher other housing costs.

When I look at the trend year over year, numerically the number is going down. But by how much? 

Housing Costs in the Apartment (2017-2020, 3.25 yrs)

2017: $11,927

2018: $13,521

2019: $11,289

2020 (3 months): $3046

Average: $12,225/yr

Housing Costs in the house (2020 - 2022, 2.75 years)

2020 (9 months): $12,104 (incl transactional ownership costs)

2021: $6,030 (COVID forbearance)

2022: $10,702

Average: $10,485/yr

Difference: $1770/yr

Percentage: 14% decrease

So yes, it costs less on average to live in the house, but not the 30% one might hope for. A 14% decrease in housing costs is nothing to sneeze at, but it does provide some perspective. Is the headache of owning a home worth 1.7k a year? 

So what would it take to bring my housing costs down by 30% from the apartment? It would be a yearly cost of about $8500/yr and monthly about $715/mon.

That's not achievable in my current house given my basic monthly housing expenses with nothing going wrong is $842/mon.

My mortgage is the cheapest I could find for something I would want to live in. And when I looked, I was hard pressed to find an apartment plus utilities for $715/mon. And my area is a pretty LCOL area. 

So although my housing costs didn't decrease that much, it still decreased, and I still get a lot for the money.

And I think, if I wanted to move back to my studio, at least I know, it wouldn't be that much of a strain on my budget. 

I also looked to see if I my studio had increased much since 2020, and it only looks to be maybe 50-60 bucks a month in total cost. 

Well, I will say, if the internet is to be believed, and I needed to sell my house, there is some profit that would be made even more than the $6k over the last 3 years. So, there's that. Let's just say I make out with a modest 20k in profit from selling the house... that would fund the difference in renting for 10 years.

Not bad, just something to consider.

Sat, Jan 14, 23, I feel great

 My mood tracker says for 2022, Saturday was my best day! 

After a long streak of blah moods, today I logged in as 'Good.' Yay!

It's Saturday morning, it's a bit overcast but I've been sleeping in the office on the uncomfy futon and I feel amazing! 

It's hard and lumpy and gives me backaches but I fall asleep fast. And sometimes sleep through the night.

The back bedroom is cold and I'm convinced it's slowing down my recovery. So I'm giving myself permission to sleep in the office until I fully recover.

That's the thing with single life, I make my own rules!

I'm excited to eat my snacks and watch TV. I'm excited not to have any work looming over my head. There's nothing like no work stress! 

I'm excited about the next 6 weeks because there is a loose structure.

The next two weeks will just be recovering. There was an alumni event that had I not been sick, I would have gone to later this month. But I'm taking it easy from group gatherings.

I really need to take it easy the next 2 weeks and not even leave the house as much. 

Even though the McDs yesterday didn't really hit the spot, I'm going to make it a lunch tradition for Fridays to take advantage of free fries. The fries aren't that good, but it's something to look forward to.

So far we have

Mondays - Friends on Fire podcast

Tuesdays - APL post

Wed - therapy

Thursday - nothing yet, but it used to be my favorite day of the week

Friday - Free Fry Friday

This is the life of a pre-early retiree. Since weekly calls with the French girl didn't work out, I'm thinking I might schedule them with Frenemy. 

Maybe Thursday or Fridays? or Sunday nights?

I really wish I had 3 single friends. I could use someone to talk money and tax stuff with in the immediate future. 

But I'm learning to just let things go, not easily. For example, I still daydream about reconnecting with Sean and Dan. I think the end of the 8 week period stirred something in me. It just lengthened the recovery time vs changing my number. I was holding out hope for 8 weeks instead of giving them the 3 day to 1 week time frame. 

For the next six weeks, I hope the weather continues to warm up and the day gets longer. Luckily, that's science and it's going to happen. Nobody's behavior or prayer or feelings is going to suddenly change NC into an arctic tundra. Or a place where the light decreases over time. 

I have a pack of turkey in the freezer, presumably from last winter and some chicken parts. 

I don't know if January will be the month, but by February, I hope to have that eaten. 

It was an easy decision not to stock up this season because COVID was less of a threat, I realized I didn't judiciously eat much of the food I stocked up on last season. And I still don't really cook.

The only reason I decide to cobble some things together is because it's too cold to go outside.

I noticed I had 3 boxes of dessert mix that expired in 2021, so yeah, I think stocking up when things are on sale is not for me. It seems to work for a lot of mommy blogs but not for me.

I think even buying economy size things is not for me because I can't use it fast enough - I'm looking at you, mayonnaise. I know a lot of stuff you can use after the Best By date, but how can you tell?

I don't want to fight things anymore. I have only so much capacity for hacking life. And as a pre-retiree, I don't care as much. 

I think 6 months past the best by date for most things is probably the most I can do unless I really need it. Condiments, I think, last forever... except..mayo. I just had a really bad spout of diarrhea eating a bunch of expired things in my fridge so it's hard to know which one exactly was the cause.

I'm feeling the raised prices on things like I really hadn't before. Oil is $7-9 for the big jug. I remember the little jug being about $2, and now it's $3.50. I bought Corn Pops for $6. And it didn't even taste that good.

If I get take out that costs more than $5, it needs to last about 3 servings. My Chipotle doesn't last me more than 1 day anymore. So it's more of a treat than a regular line up item. Unless I switch back to the kids meal. 

I really like those Dan Dan noodle bowls from PF Chang's, but those are clocking in at $5 each. I'll try to do better to stock up on those, the next time they're on sale. I actually will eat those even a year from now. 

I've been looking more into pre-made freezer meals, but the jury's still out.

Yeah, as much as I have tried to make menus and have them on my calendar, the things I want to eat (and therefore can will myself to make), is not as consistent as I'd hoped. And making it a chore didn't help. 

Anyway, I woke up feeling good and also wanting a friend. My next thing to tackle this season is taxes. Do I need to start a business? Very few people in the FIRE community don't have some sort of side hustle. In this again, I am alone. 

Jan 13, It's torture!

 Grr! I'm clicking around and finding so many bank bonus or credit card offers. They're so high!

Note to self to wait till the beginning of the year, I guess. 

Chase has a $900 offer for opening a savings and checking. You need $15k for the savings though and I am quite low on cash at the moment. I just bought a series I bond at the beginning of the year, that would have been quite nice to help me meet this offer. Although my strategy has been to keep the FIRE money tucked away from regular use. But for the first quarter, I could be tempted since there's not a ton of spending going on.

For the most part, I want to keep it stashed and out of regular circulation. I think that's what I'll continue to do, and I hope with either brokered CDs or treasury bonds, I can continue to get something more than 0.1%. But I will say if it does get that dismal, I may have to rethink my strategy and open it up to churning.

But for now, I like keeping the pots separate.

I think it would be okay for the first quarter since I don't have any big spends that I would feel tempted to borrow from that stash for. But in later months when I start traveling, it would be much harder. And I hate paying things back. It's not as much of an issue (though a hassle) to just move money around, but being tempted to borrow from one pot is wading in murky water.

So I'll keep the pots separate for now until I get more used to the stash.

It was exciting to see my investments only balance climb up over $450k. That's awesome! I'm not looking at my spreadsheet to know if it's ever gotten that high before. I don't think so. It'll be cool to hit $500k in investments alone. Wow! 

I do wonder if I'm too cash heavy, but I think I'm okay with it for now. I like having the FIRE Cash Stash because that's what the early leanFIREees before me did. And at the moment I have no viable source of passive income, so I will need that more than any of the others before me.

But I also have regular cash and a 3-4 month emergency fund for my regular life. I live it as though I don't have a FIRE safety net for the most part. It's historically been a 1 year fund but if it takes me more than 3 months to find a job, then I will probably consider myself early retired by then. So that's why it's so low. It took some iterations to find a comfortable spot of straddling regular life and pre-early retiree.

Mentally, I mostly consider myself pre-early retired. But I don't vocalize it...who would care?

Anyway, there's also a sweet TD Bonus I tried for but my application didn't go through. And of course allll the credit card offers I got denied for! Groan!

I am hoping I can try for the Chase bonus by mid-March. I need to earn some more money. I'm hoping I can hold out at least until my next paycheck.

I need to just let all these bonuses go and hope for better luck next year. This is supposed to be my most perfect year!

Anyway, my throat still hurts. Surprisingly tea helped. I might make more because then I ate some hot chips.

My weekend plans include not thinking about work; baking either cupcakes or brownies; eating popcorn and signing up for a 1 week trial of HBO Max to watch sex lives of college girls.

Oh and I thought I'd figured out FaceTime, but I didn't. I realized later, I have to just dis-Allow Facetime vs just turning off notifications. Onward, Perfect Year!

Oh, I think what got me started clicking around is reading Root of Good's amazing $12k in bonuses this year. The most I ever did was close to $4k. And last year, 2022, it was closer to 1500.

I just can't figure out the brokerages, and of course I've been stopped in my tracks for credit card sign ups.

I will say, the extra motivation for Chase is maybe if I can keep a high balance for a couple months, when I reapply for a credit card and have to call for reconsideration, that might work in my favor. 

Ok, let me make some tea and try to relax more. 

Jan 13, I'm happy and friend free

 I woke up not sure how I felt. I marked okay in the mood tracking app (Daylio). But just 30 minutes later, I feel really good!

The sun is out. I thought I had an early meeting, but it's not till 10a. My inbox is not cluttered and we have a work holiday on Monday! 

I looked up some 1 cup cake recipes last night. Eventhough I'm still petrified of opening the bottom oven drawer for fear of finding pest remanants, I'm still hoping to bake a funfetti 1 cup cake or brownies today.

I really want to eat some white frosting.

I have 2 little mini pans I can use and forego looking in the scary drawer for my 6 cup muffin tin. Small wins.

Yesterday, I'd had enough. At the end of last year, I'd come to the realization that the only external contact I had was Maryland Aunty who at the time we'd gotten into monthly calls she initiated. I got tired of being brushed off and talked over. 

And Frenemy. She was a hard one to let go of because we do have fun shooting the breeze. But since mental health is all the rage and I'm an all or nothing kind of person, last night I had enough. She's been on a boundary kick with people in her life. Not me necessarily, but in a petty way, I'm kind of using it against her. My boundary is - don't call me to talk for 5 minutes; be an active listener; act engaged; ask questions; don't take other calls for people you talk to just as much as me. 

And as a matter of fact, I prefer email. I was going to change my Apple ID but it was going to take too long to decide on a new one, so I just turned off the FaceTime notifications. Now mind you, I'd already uninstalled the FaceTime app so I wouldn't be tempted to call anyone.

But yesterday after 3 half calls and then her taking a call from her aunt (not an emergency), I'd just had enough. 

We're all busy. And I know she doesn't need me as a friend so I don't think she'll be down and out. She is actively engaged with a lot of work colleagues and is meeting a friend for lunch next week that she met for lunch during the holidays. And has regular calls with a former co-worker. So I don't have to worry about her missing our interaction so much.

And really, she still has 2 email addresses and Teams to get a hold of me. I've been trying to break loose of this emotional roller coaster for years now but since we're all coming into our own as well-adjusted adults, the fight has been won!

I'm available during business hours. Or send me an email. 

I think my throat is getting better. The last few coughs of last night were not productive. There is still some mild irritation but hopefully with no talking over the weekend that should resolve.

I'm putting off my remaining work until next week. I'm hoping I don't have to talk much in the meeting today and luckily I shouldn't have to lead.

I'm really, really grateful that my team is primarily UK based because this means my workday is limited to mornings. At least the part of the day where I have to actively engage with other people.

Yay! Small wins. I did nothing to accomplish this, but I'm still calling it a win!

My manager is back from her long holiday break and asked for volunteers for a project. Old Me would have thought I needed to, but Steady State me is like... only if I'm forced. 

So now the thought came to mind - am I ready for the Brian on our team to get promoted ahead of me. Um, kind of. My goal is to just to stay employed and keep my workload light. I'm not volunteering for anything. It's a bit of a dance to do 'just enough' though. 

Been thinking more about my travel hacking plans. I think Chase seems like where I should focus my first wave of attention. Right now I'm thinking of opening a Savings account. I have to keep at least $300 in there to keep it fee free. But I need to figure out how to get 5k in there and keep it there until I can get approved for one of their cards.

I'm still deciding.

I don't even want to plan too much for next year. 

I guess in theory if I give up travel hacking for this year, I can just try to get 100k points in the first quarter of next year and make travel plans from there.  That would be the easier choice if I wanted to abandon travel hacking for this year. It wasn't really part of my plans.

And I think maybe for next year, instead of planning the year in advance, I can just use Q1 as planning time.

I think spending the December away was also a good idea because by January the weather is mild and sunny and the days are already getting longer incrementally.

Anyway, the other thing I decided was to pay for full service to get my taxes done. It looks to be around $350 on Turbo Tax. HR Block isn't giving upfront pricing.

I mostly want to see once and for all if there's anything I can do differently.  I'm hoping I'll get to ask questions or get some new ideas to optimize my taxes because right now, other than my 401k, I'm just paying the taxes that's owed. No breaks.

Oh speaking of, I think our W2 posted today!

Yay... 

...now as I type this, I think I'm going to forego remediating my credit to qualify for the high tier cards. #easylife. Yes, this year I have known big spends, but it just didn't work out. I'm not fighting things.

I think I can still get the Fidelity card at 0% intro APR when I'm ready to book my travel for the Summer. And I hope I can still get an AA/Delta card to get free bags. If not, oh well. 

Wed, Jan 12, Still tired and some accomplishments

 This week has felt fast but also long and tiring. We got early paid today, so that was awesome!

Took another look at my expenses comparison.

I spent over $300 in gas this year. I know people complain about gas, but the cost is so nominal to me. The thing that was funny is I spent a little more in gas this year working remotely, and not even living here for 3 months than I did in 2017 when I was working full time out of the house. How funny!

I guess I can keep an eye on it. I don't want it to skyrocket to $500/yr or something, but I hope the cost stays low. 

So another point for my small town. My Food Lion and McDonald's are walking distance, I just never walk to them. 

Even though I don't have prospects for friends even for my Seattle trip when I was clicking around looking at place to see if I felt anything, I did! It was exciting to look at all the cool apartments. I think APL said it best about getting to stay in much nicer apartments with these rentals. I like that part alot.

I wasn't sure when I was first making Travel Plans for 2023 if I would want to stay by the lake or downtown. I think since it'll still be cool outside, I want to stay downtown and have a really nice view, preferably of the water. 

A balcony would be nice too.

So far, the prices don't seem to differ too much. But because my friend prospect is zero, I think 6 weeks is looking more likely. I just need work to cooperate. 

I discovered that when I have to create content, I much prefer working in my own home office with multiple screens. But for more operational tasks, I can manage on one screen. The original plan was to get a second screen that's portable but we shall see. If the Seattle trips are something I plan on doing yearly, then yeah, it'll be nice to have the tools, but as it stands, it'll probably be my last trip this year. 

The Burning Desire to build a community has sufficiently waned to zero. So returning to Seattle doesn't make sense after this year.

That realization is a bit of an accomplishment. Although, I hesitate to postulate too far into the future. But I think I will do more cooking this time around since I won't be focusing on dating.

Did I tell you I already bought series iBonds for the year. I really wanted to reach out to Dan to talk about it but with money stuff, I didn't want to get feelings involved. And when I thought about it more, the FIRE Cash Stash is okay being in iBonds since I can access the ones from 2021 and 2022 without missing out on the expected gains. 

Plus the iBond rate was a bit higher than the current brokered CD rate, so the math made sense. I think I was a bit concerned that the CD rates would go way up past the iBond rate. I don't know the math on the likeliness of that happening.

It's just recently that I learned that with high inflation comes high savings interest rates because the government wants to encourage you to save money! I'm happy to oblige! It seems it's all inversely related. When "feds raise rates", it means it cost more to borrow money but you tend to see higher savings account interest rates. I'm sure there's some rationale behind it but it's not really my concern. 

Maybe banks need to offer high savings rate to get more of our money. Fine by me!

I really like listening or reading to PF media where people are settling into their financial plans and not chasing more because I feel like that's where I am. 

It would've been really cool to have a real person to benchmark stuff with, but I guess the online community was the next best thing. 

I'm so glad I'm out of the fire with FIRE. 

It feels good to just coast to the next milestone without despair.

(I'm a woman living with depression.)

I've been looking for a tool to track my time. Not sure why yet since most of it is spent online watching TV or reading posts. 

But I'm trying it out on Google Calendar for now. After adding a few entries, it felt silly to include just how much time I spent on "Leisure" since that's the bulk of my time! So I just left that as the default white space. 

I guess maybe I'm hoping measuring things will help me gain and keep perspective the same way it does with my finances. Although, I will say, I have not done much reflection on my expenses lately.

As long as it's kind of within my means, I'm not spending as much time trying to hit any specific goals or targets. 

Oh so for Egypt and the fact that I'd be traveling six weeks after I fully recover makes me feel even more affirmed that an international trip in March is not a good idea. I might table it for anytime after March to December.

But I did kind of like the idea of spending my birthday somewhere. Since I have no friends to consider, I decided to just go ahead and use my 1 week Landing stay at one of the rentals in Wilmington. Beach vacations aren't really my go to, but I wanted to burn the free-stay and not fly anywhere or drive more than 3 hours.

It'll still be cool here so I'm not putting any expectations on the trip.

I haven't contacted Landing yet, but I'll add it to my mental to-do list for after I recover. 

I think I'll give myself a loose budget of about $500 in case I feel like eating out a bunch. But likely, I'll take some snacks and a few ebooks. I hope I get somewhere with a balcony and a view of the water. That'll be nice.

I think I've been enjoying this idea of a pretend beach/lake house... so I guess waterfront house. If Landing had a rental in Asheville, I'd be more tempted to do a nature house, but oh well. I didn't want to spend too much time thinking about it.

I'm hoping my projects will be in a good place that I'll be able to relax. I think that's another good reason to wait.

My current 2 projects should be wrapping up around mid-Feb, so I hope by then I'll have a better idea of my workload.

I'm still figuring out my credit card hacking/ award travel scheme.

It wasn't really in my plans for 2023, so I think for now, I just want to loosely see if I can get 100k miles for this year to use in 2024.

Since the cards were harder for me to obtain than I thought, I'm still trying to figure out how to best focus my energy to remediate my credit worthiness. 

As for this year,  any sort of bonus would be nice, but I am just loosely trying to stay in or under my budget for last year. I think I should easily be able to cut my airfare expenses in half vs last year because I shouldn't be taking 4 trips to Seattle. 

So yeah, at the very least I'll qualify for some kind of card or cards this year and just plan to keep them open. 

I don't want to stress myself out too much trying to figure it all out right now.

But yeah, friends, that's my week so far. Eventhough I was off sick a lot of last week, I am so happy we get Monday off. This week was really draining. 

And I can't believe I already got paid for this year. Life is good!

Sick Day 12, Still feeling run down

 I had 3 hours of meetings today and still feel run down. I guess I need more than 10 days to recover.

Given that I'm still under the weather, the lack of ability to get a rewards card, and who knows what else, I haven't purchased my trip to Egypt yet.

I've lost some of my enthusiasm.

Side note: when searching for Gate 1, I discovered Exottica and the original trip I had looked at for almost $4k, they are selling for about $2200. The only thing is I realized that the trip includes a 4 day cruise. And although it's on a river, I'm not too jazzed about taking a 4 day long boat trip for fun. I wish Aunty MERJ were around, then I would maybe do it because she wanted to do it for so long!

Anyway, their website was even snazzier than Gate 1, so I'll have to remember to look at them in the future. I would anticipate more escorted travel in my future. 

Anyway...because I'm feeling so run down, the idea of traveling in 2 months is not appealing. I think I want to give myself at least 3 months from my first symptom free day to even think about traveling. Without knowing that day, I don't even want to think about booking travel. 

I've been trying to think about my updated credit card plan, but the best next steps I can come up with is just waiting 30 days and trying again with the 2 cards I had my eye on. I really need to define my objectives outside of just racking up points. 

Next is to try to get a card to give me a $5k limit and hold it for a year. It seems so risky so I can't even beat myself up over my credit card strategy the last couple of years. I got out of debt, wasn't identity thefted, and didn't overspend, so my "strategy" worked. It's just now I have different objectives.

I just don't have a real plan yet. This new found search of travel is new. 

My therapist was excited when I mentioned it. But in my mind, I'm like... you too can go, there are no barriers to entry. If you don't want to spend the money, just use points. Or if you do want to spend the money, just start saving.

I almost feel like my blasé attitude is going to land me in some bad scenario..but that's the old me that believes in jinxing and signs and karmic resolution. I'm actually scared something bad is going to happen. 

When do I get to be scared that something good is going to happen!

I'm a bit hungry and just want some snacks. The easiest choice is McDonald's, but I don't really want McDonald's. 

Don't want to cook much either.

I just did a quick Google search on flu symptoms and it says after you feel better, you may have a lingering cough or feel tired for a few more weeks. 

I'm guessing 2 more weeks for me. So maybe I'll be back to normal at end of January.

Well at least that makes January easy. Just eat well and rest.

And in case it's COVID, they said it's not 'long COVID' until after 4 weeks. 

Today I do feel a bit more run down than yesterday, but overall I'm not getting worse. 

So in the moments I don't feel scared or that God is going to bring down his hand of justice and righteousness on me, I like to think about my simple life....

9a to 1p: Focused work

1-5p: Self care, for Jan, that might be resting or just reading on the internet; in the future, keeping my body clean or stretching; as for the reading, I want to try to save some of my TV watching for focused time. Not from a depravity standpoint, but I enjoy the binge. 

5-9p: Just some calm activities

9-12m: some calmer activities.

After hearing Mike from friends on fire declare that his purpose is traveling with his family, I lessened the pressure to find a higher meaning. 

I enjoy eating chips (and other snacks) and watching shows (good reality shows or fun new series). 

That's my purpose. To enjoy my last 0-20 years on earth watching TV and eating snacks. 

As for working, I'll work for as long as it still makes sense and is non-stressful. If I can maintain a light workload, I may work forever.

I don't have any immediate plans to climb the corporate ladder this year.

As for traveling, I'm not sure. I still plan to visit Seattle again. It doesn't look like friends or flings really want to stay in touch so that feels weird.

So it's just filling my time with random things borrowed from others.

Oh, I was able to sign up to volunteer for an NCSO tournament close by this spring. So that will be fun!

I'd been wanting to do some of the regional tournaments but not wanting to drive 100 miles.

So I think this year is just adjusting to the status quo.

Trying to establish some traditions. 

I had to undock my laptop so I could recline a bit as I type this.

The sun is out and it's sunny, breezy, and cool. My favorite kind of day. 

I want some chili, a rocking chair, a cozy blanket and some outside sitting time. 

Oh I got some more Catalyze points at work. So I'm storing that for my Hello Fresh stash for this summer. 

Oh, looks like our first paycheck of the year is posted already! Nice!

My net pay is about $40 less than I estimated but I think my estimate was made before I upped my FSA. still haven't decided if I'm counting my FSA expenses in my annual expenses. 

Just did a quick calculation, and it looks like my effective tax rate is about 20%. Just something to keep in mind for any income earned outside of W2. 

How can I net a 3k tax loss for last year! I think it's too late. 

Optimizing my taxes is something else I want to get better at. Just not sure where to begin. 

Looking at my paystub, I still can't believe I grossed $165k for the year. The next tax bracket starts at $170k. Wow! So if I get even a 2% raise next year and a little bit bigger bonus, I will crest that new benchmark. 

Other ruminations

- I love sunny breezy days

- I love chips and popcorn

- I love watching a new show

Can that be my purpose and my passion. My passion is to eat salty snacks and watch new shows on sunny breezy days.

Tues, Jan 10, 2023, She works hard for the money

 I've officially been sick for 11 days. I'm on the phone with Chase to try this reconsideration line. I've talked to 2 people and verified a bunch of stuff, still nothing.

We shall see. 

Anyway, I'm impressed with myself for trying.

So they'll continue to review if I can fax or mail some bank statement. Womp, womp. I'm not doing that. 

Well, I'm done with work for the day.

Some travel metrics and a forever home

 I've listened to a few more episodes of friendsonfire. I really like the girl Maggie's voice, I think. She's talkative.

Anyway, I, of course, love the episodes where they talk about their expenses. I couldn't easily find the first one where they compared their expenses on a vacation. But Mike had broken down his cost per day, and if I remember correctly it was somewhere around $80ish/day.

It seemed like a made-up metric but it's something he uses. 

Since I'm still figuring out a good budget for my travel and other lifestyle expenses and really all things money related in this twilight stage I am post LeanFIRE, my memory held on to it for later.

Another interesting thing he does which we all kind of do is even though he's reached a pretty steady state of optimization, he still makes it a goal to spend 15% less each year. I don't really do that, I still have $20k/yr as kind of my magic number. At this point, it pretty easily covers my core expenses. It's the Other that doesn't quite fit in $20k/yr that I still grapple with.

Anyway, I did relisten to another episode of a 6 week trip to Europe he did with his family of four. They travel hacked some flights and mostly stayed with family. And that trip cost him $121/day (something like $3600 or $3900 for the entire trip). 

So for fun, I looked back at my Seattle expenses to come up with a cost/day.

I was in Seattle for about 14 weeks in 2022.

14 weeks x 7 days/wk = 98 days (I just rounded it to 100 because who knows if that counts the overnight flights where I was still technically traveling the day I returned...hehe #magic math). 

And my expenses in Seattle according to my chart was about $18k (rounded).

So 18k/ 100 days = $180/day. 

That's my baseline and I already outlined in my Seattle trip report some places where there were opportunities for improvement. 

I also kind of fell in love with the idea of spending 100 days away from home and in Seattle. That was almost a third of the year! 

Then when I added in the 15 days I just spent in Maryland, that's about 115 days away from home. And if I count the 2 trips I took to Maryland for work (that's at least another 5 days), I'm easily up to 120 days away.

So I decided...hmm I like that number. That's a cool metric to hit. 

So I think next year, I want to replicate it (no more hard goals). I liked spending 120 days away from home. It breaks up the monotony; it's achievable; and I can take advantage of my flex work schedule.

And when I added another $500 for the 2 weeks in Maryland to my trip total, it brought my cost per day to about $160/day total for travel in 2022. These are very much estimates but a great metric to track nonetheless.  

In summary, here are my travel metrics for 2022:

Days away from home: 120 days

Cost per day: $160/day (doesn't include work trip)

If I wanted to trim just 10% off my cost per day, I could aim for $144/day in 2023. We'll see.

But I do like the idea of trying to reach 120 days away from home. I'm not setting it as a goal per se, but it'll be interesting to see and track. 

The podcast duo also challenged themselves to reach 500k bonus miles each in a year. I think I might try to reach 100k miles this year. But the default goals are more like: 1 free leg of travel > 1 free rdtrp travel > 60k bonus miles > 100k bonus miles. The reason it's a challenge at all is because I keep getting denied for travel cards! 

I think I'm more and more interested in seeing people reach their different steady states and see what that looks like, but still dabble in different personal finance pursuits. 

I think we've already identified that travel to me is the least offensive pursuit of people in my peer group, so it's my default plan.

Every so often, I read a story of someone FIREing off to Mexico or Thailand to live for super cheap. And I just wonder if that's for me. Or does it seem impossible like FIRE must for most people (even me when I first started). Am I scared of the struggle? I think because outside of the cheaper cost of living, I'm not sure what else I would be doing there. And I don't really want to struggle. 

Or is it a bit of a sunk cost fallacy - I spend the last 30 years getting to master life in America. Do I just give that all up?

It's just such a big deal to live in another country. I don't want to have to learn to live in a new culture. I like my creature comforts. I gave up the dream of learning a new language a while ago.

But if I keep working, maybe it'll be fun to work from those locations. 

So it made me wonder, is this Hospice House my forever home? 

The reason this matters is, if it is.. I want to make it more comfortable since I'll be spending at leas 2/3 of the year here. 

I want to get something comfier to relax in for the home office.

I'm already getting overwhelmed thinking about the long term.

Wow, this March will make 3 years since I've been in this house. I need to get my water heater flushed.