Getting Comfortable in the Silence

 So I did a couple things well yesterday, in terms of cutting the cord with this 24/7 job and achieving a better work-life balance.

Let's be honest though, the life part of that equation is pretty non-existent. But the "work" part of it isn't entirely significant in the grand scheme of things.

Anyway, what I did well:

- Didn't proactively attempt to work on the Escalation Spreadsheet (in my mind, my boss noticed; because she ended up having to call a meeting to distribute work)

- Didn't proactively work on the SOP (boss ended up delegating it to me)

Ok that seemed huge in my mind. I honestly don't know how I ended up working last night from ~8:30a to 1:25a? 

Everything required so much effort to prepare, and I think that's what's lost on my boss.

When I saw 2 of my buddy's subordinates had already listened to their 2 calls by 2p yesterday, I was floored. How is that even possible? I'd barely made a dent in my task list. 

I'm definitely doing something wrong.

I think I had 3 meetings, so that was part of it. Plus an impromptu troubleshooting session. So that was like 4 hours. 

And each report was like an hour of prep time. 

Then 45 minutes while we emotionally supported my boss in managing the vendor. I think she steps in a lot and it's a little confusing on what the next steps are. I'm seeing that with the vendor. They are unimpressed with her threats. She has given the same direction a few times now and they just don't heed it. 

As I've observed, she's very reactive. Unfortunately, the vendor is not. 

She has asked a couple times now about suggestions for managing them. Her Girl Friday hasn't said anything, and I certainly don't have any ideas. 

Understandably, she's probably getting a lot of pressure from her boss so she has to come back with something to say. Unfortunately, the vendor is just unresponsive. Which is not how our internal teams act- well some of the people anyway. 

So yes, I had to get comfortable in the silence of now our 3x/week meetings.

I will continue to get more comfortable with that because last night I wish I had gone on mute after 5p following up on other people's work. 

Slowly, but surely, I will get there.

1 year of fumbles, and maybe she's finally seeing the light? Doubt it.

Also, My Buddy's direct reports are asking what their roles and responsibilities are. So that helps me feel less bad for the dumb conversation I had last week.

I think The Dinosaur probably is asking for this more - because our team loves to live in limbo. And I think the White Man is asking for this some - because he's getting work dumped on him. Ha! He actually has to do work. I'd like to think him having to do Knowledge was the kicker. That would amuse me. 

Speaking of him working, there was something he was supposed to do, but didn't do - and lo and behold I found a bandaid because I don't want it coming back on me. 

Oh the other thing I did yesterday that I'm proud of is when I made my list of things to do - I marked some as Extras. There were about 4 things on there that I was like hmmm, not a huge priority as it's really outside my remit and wasn't really assigned to me. 

So yes, continuing to prioritize; get more comfortable not being proactive; keeping quiet; and giving 100-120% only.