Showing posts with label Single Girl Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Single Girl Life. Show all posts

Throwback 20s: That Time I Went to Eastern Europe

So every now and then when I binge read other FIRE blogs, I wonder what the heck I was doing in my 20s when they were all seemingly frugaling away their coppers.  To keep my head up and not get too bogged down with what I wasn't doing, I decided to start this series as a gentle reminder of the adventure portfolio I was building with a FIRE twist.  So instead of bemoaning my twenties, I want to take some time to celebrate that part of The Journey! Come along! I urge you!

THE HACK:
IPSF
Family

THE DETAILS:
Through a student exchange program with IPSF, a college in Romania provided a place to stay and a host for 3 weeks. My host was a traveler and advised me on air deals on RyanAir for trips between countries and local "cross country" bus routes that allowed me to see at least 5 countries during my stay on the cheap. #FIREapproved

I supplemented the trip with an early arrival in Germany and stayed with my aunt!

TOTAL COSTS:
About $2,000 most of which was airfare (USA > Germany > Romania > Italy > Romania > USA) and bus fare as I stayed in a free dorm for a few weeks and with my aunt for a week.  Airfare was kind of last minute because as I mentioned in an earlier post, I started to lose the travel bug. Tip: use the bus if you're going anywhere between Romania and Poland!

ITINERARY:








MEMORY STOCK:












McDonald's in Germany










View from Berlin double decker bus










Berlin walk sign










old European building










Over the tops of Cluj, Romania












KFC in Cluj










Quick jaunt to Rome










you know this guy










Burger King in Rome










dairy free gelato!










dairy-free/cheeseless pizza in Rome










Cluj mountains










Cluj lake










More Cluj mountains










Cluj accomodations in dorm










Stuffed cabbage in Cluj! Yumsies











Hospital where we worked. Note: that's not me.










Hospital cans food for patients #FIREapproved











wee bus ride to Hungary; no bigs










iconic Chain bridge joining Buda and Pest













chicken, potatoes, and kerfola in Bratislava

Sunday Funnies | Normal Nancy Meets I-Love-It-Lucy!

Welcome back to My Early Retirement Journey. The single girl is at it again. This one took a lot less time than a full Saturday. I guess I’m getting the hang of this creating thing after all.

These are scenes inspired by the girl in the cubicle next to me. They like to call people like me Negative Nancy, but compared to this girl, I feel pretty normal.

Find the original illustration created on Pixton in case this doesn’t load properly:



You might also enjoy:

Sunday Funnies | A Midwesterner in California

Sunday Funnies | The Life Cycle of a Corporate Drone

comic-i-love-it-lucy-myearlyretirementjourney

10 Ways To Tell You Have Impostor Syndrome (and what to do about it)

We've all heard the term impostor syndrome. It was a buzz word a few years ago and still clings to the wall of every women's studies lecture hall.  But what is it? Basically, it's the fibromyalgia of workplace dynamics - it primarily happens to women and if you've never experienced it, you don't really believe it exists. Well for my fellow early career girls, here are a ten ways to tell you have impostor syndrome inspired by my journey thus far.

How to tell if you have impostor syndrome


#1 You've accepted you have to pay your dues.

Wrong.  A #girlboss rips those dues in half and returns to sender.
#2 You've accepted more work for the same or less money.

See #1
#3 You qualify your statements.

Before making a declarative statement or expressing a strong opinion, you tend to start with "maybe it's me, but..."  or  "I could be wrong, but..." Stop butting out of your own life. Stop doing that. Now.
#4 You find yourself apologizing for your strong beliefs.

Similar to #3, you find yourself saying things such as "sorry, but that's how I feel." Who are you even apologizing too. The men don't care. And the women should know better. Learn from the younger millennials #sorrynotsorry.
#5 You thought you had to get an advanced degree to supplement your experience.

Wrong, the men at my job are constantly getting promoted with minimal qualifications from no-name online school.  Their male presence, posturing, confidence-despite-mediocrity, and thinking they deserve their jobs is enough. Try that. Don't worry, if you already earned your M.B.A., completed Six Sigma, or some other nonsense leadership certification before applying for a leadership role, I fell for that trick too. They fooled all of us, I have the debt to prove it.
#6 You're afraid to negotiate your salary.

This isn't entirely your fault. You've probably tried to negotiate your salary in the past only to be turned down by that WOMAN in HR! It hurts all of us. Now, you think if you ask for more money, they'll get someone to replace you for being ungrateful for the favor of your being employed.
#7 You thought you were better at being a mom.

After having your first child, with no training and experience, you thought you were better at being a mom than the job you paid thousands of dollars and gave years of your life to learn how to do. That's B.S. That's the impostor syndrome talking. You're good at your job, you just don't get paid in hugs and warm fuzzies. Go back to work!
#8 You find yourself redefining accepted terms to preempt criticism.

You find yourself making up words and redefining regular vocabulary words to avoid criticism and ridicule because the foremen before you like to police you.  You say things like FIRE-my way or lean-FIRE or fat-FIRE. Stop hyphenating stuff. If you are financially independent of course it's on your own terms, you don't need to overstate it.
#9 You announce your privilege.

Men don't do that. They are very sure they got to where they are solely because of their perfect choices, nothing else - Maslow's hierarchy and lack of equitable opportunities, be darned!
#10 Someone has openly tried to gaslight you.

You know when you ask a question after a presentation and the presenter doesn't have the answer so they pretend your question doesn't make sense or worse they provide a mansplanation for a question you didn't ask? This has happened to me more than once. Next thing you know, you're not asking any more questions. Don't shrink back, persist.

 


(09Sep2018, MERJ)

Sunday Funnies | Getting Thai Food With Immigrant Aunty

Welcome back to My Early Retirement Journey. The single girl is at it again. This one took a lot less time than a full Saturday. I guess I’m getting the hang of this creating thing after all.

These are scenes inspired by a recent visit with Aunty MERJ. We have quite the history. In my culture, we sometimes speak pidgin English and eat a lot of rice.  Here's what happened the last time I tried to take my aunty out for Thai food. #singlegirllife

Find the original illustration created on Pixton in case this doesn’t load properly:



And in case you missed it:

Sunday Funnies | The Life Cycle of a Corporate Drone

Sunday Funnies | A Midwesterner in California

thaifoodwithimmigrantaunty-myearlyretirementjourney

5 Unexpected Lessons from Freeform's 'The Bold Type'

One of the shows I thoroughly enjoyed this summer was Freeform's The Bold Type. The series is available on Hulu and Sling, so if you have access to one of these streaming services, I highly recommend watching it.  I recently binge-watched the second season in two sittings after enjoying season one last summer.  I like the show because it is essentially pretty girls (Jane, Kat, Sutton) doing big things. It is how I always imagined my life, so every time I watch it I find myself momentarily introspective.

Go in there with the confidence of an incredibly average white man.  - The Bold Type



If you have never seen it, the show, based on career commentary of former Cosmopolitan editor-in-chief Joanna Coles, centers around three friends in New York City who start out working at a fashion magazine, Scarlet, in different capacities. It touches on issues such as race, religion, immigration, privilege, feminism, female empowerment, politics, and of course fashion and beauty. All the things. In my opinion, The Bold Type does so in just the right doses. The show's magic is being able to draw viewers in with thought-provoking topics; keeping viewers engaged without being too preachy; and leave them wanting more.

Watching a second season of single girls, albeit fictional, create and innovate was the tipping point I needed to take myself and my blog more seriously.  Here's what I mean.

#1 The headline is just a part of the story.


One of my favorite episodes from season two was entitled "Betsy." Betsy was the name of Sutton's gun, and Jane, her roommate, had just found it in their apartment. I watch an enormous amount of television and this was not a topic I had seen approached by a group of girlfriends. Conceivably, there were only two outcomes to the gun in the home, but I found myself extremely curious on what the show's commentary would be on the matter. Jane, the young writer trying to make it in publishing as a "real reporter," was able to turn the issue into a story.

From this I realized  that anyone can write down all the things they did or ate or spent today, but the craft is in asking yourself: how can I share this point of view in a way that relates to others. When I was exploring catchy titles in my summer challenge, I thought at first the secret to creating shareable content was rearranging titles to make them attention-grabbing.  That is part of it but it is not the sum of it. No, the goal is sharing your story in a way that relates to others and their story - therein lies community.

In the episode "Betsy," writer Jane was strongly opposed to having a gun in the home she shared with Sutton. However instead of an op-ed piece on gun control laws, the story became "I love everything about my BFF except her gun." That title draws a reader's attention because  laws are as complicated as relationships. People live in between the layers. That's where the story is. That's where the connection is. So now you've grabbed the reader's attention; engaged them; and left them wanting more.

#2 The uniform matters.


The girls work at a fashion magazine. They live, eat, sleep, breathe fashion and popular culture. That is their brand. You cannot be taken seriously in their industry if you don't look the part.

Outside of this fictional world, I am reminded of a time when I was on clinical rotations acquiring my massive student loan debt. One of the medical residents was bemoaning her single status (how dare she!), but to look at her you wouldn't tell she was on the market, so to speak. Inside the hospital, she looked like a medical resident trying to get through her residency. She wore scrubs and carried a pager, a stethoscope and a well-worn copy of MDPocket, so we knew she wasn't the janitor. But nothing about her uniform told any interested parties she was single-and-seeking. Outside of the hospital, she had cut-hair (different from a styled haircut), wore no make-up, and often times stayed in the scrubs. She looked efficient and industrious, not single-and-seeking. There's a uniform for that and she was not wearing it.  The uniform matters. It tells people who we are and what we're about.

In the case of my blog, there's a uniform for that as well. If I wanted to be taken seriously as a blogger, I couldn't remain on Blogger.  I created 100 blogs posts from my mind, and I needed the world to know that I was here and I had something to say. Moving to Wordpress and self-hosting was my way of doing that. If I don't take myself seriously as a blogger, who will. Even if I never receive any recognition, it won't be because I didn't believe I was a worthy contender.
If I'm going to go down, I'm going to go down swinging.  - The Bold Type

#3 Creating achieves flow.


The parts of each episode of The Bold Type where I am most captivated are when the characters are using their creative energies to complete a task; solve a problem; or overcome and obstacle.  In Season 2, Episode 4, I was right there with Jane as she tried different writing styles after losing her job for standing up for her beliefs, and eventually earned recognition for piece that was difficult to write. I was a part of the conversation in Season 1, Episode 3 when Kat used her social media influence to give a voice to gender inequality.  Sutton's journey throughout Season 1 with the issues women face in the workplace was a part of my journey, and her ability to succeed and surpass even her own expectations for the underfunded shoot in Season 2, Episode 8 to make it to Paris in Season 2, Episode 10 was the picture of a woman coming into her flow.

That intersection of skill and challenge is where we as humans optimize our flow. Working on my blog has been that for me. It has become both my creative outlet and my source of flow.  The female brain responds to stress by nurturing, organizing and grooming things. It's why people start families, seek relationships, and even religion - for what is religion if not a relationship with God and other believers. It's not why I started blogging, but it's why I started to take blogging more seriously.  Even without remarkable page views or income, I can't stop thinking about ways to make my blog better. It keeps me from plateauing. Every time I see a post to completion, my mood is elevated. I call it my creator's high. To know that one day I could potentially reach another single girl like me trying to find her place in this space moves me forward towards that next challenge and that next level of skill to be mastered.
Keep bringing your passion, it’s how you’re going to make your mark. - The Bold Type

#4 Inspiration is everywhere.


As I said, even though I am spending almost all my free time on a blog that gets unremarkable page views and generates no income, I keep at it. I keep writing. I am a writer.  And my inspiration is everywhere.
We should be taking in every experience. We should be living our lives, taking risks, and [...] putting ourselves out there. - The Bold Type (Jane, Season 1, Episode 10)

Much like Jane who uses much of her personal life as writing prompts for her stories, I find inspiration everywhere. Much of it stems from my personal life and my past. It used to be my life, my history, my thoughts, my dreams, things unsaid. It has since evolved to include inspiration from other bloggers, my co-workers, the nasty man behind a customer service desk... I have yet to run out of things to say. As long as I keep breathing, I have found there's always a way to connect to a reader.

#5 I'm good at this.


In the last episode of season two, after pulling off the Paris shoot amidst a few obstacles, Sutton recognizes the truth of her talent and simply utters, "I'm good at this." She's good at what she does and the realization makes her smile.

It's as though I needed somebody else to say it first. Blogging helped me realize I am a writer. It's something I've always enjoyed doing and hoped was true, but could never say aloud.  Who decides if or when you are a writer, I wondered. Is it after you've been published? Is it where you've been published? Is it when?  Or is it after you've made money with your writing. Who decides? You. Just you. I am a writer. For now my medium is this blog, but I am a writer. One of my creative writing teachers once said, you know you're a writer if you always carry a notebook. That's always been true for me. I am writing notes for my blog everywhere. Everywhere. I write notes at work, full drafts on my break, scratch notes while driving, notes at my bedside, my side table, my purse, my laptop, my iPad, my planner, receipts...

I woke up the morning of Sep 5, 2018 after publicly announcing my sabbatical, and my first thought was this is what I am meant to be doing. Maybe I was caught up in the moment of the start of something new, or an upcoming week off from work, or maybe it's true. Affirmations and self-realizations are a central theme to a life lived more boldly. So, I say to you, dear reader, recognize your truth and live in it, splash around a bit.
I am good at this. This is what I am meant to be doing.  ~ My Early Retirement Journey

 

Throwback 20s: How I Traveled to China For Free!

So every now and then when I binge read other FIRE blogs, I wonder what the heck I was doing in my 20s when they were all seemingly frugaling away their coppers.  To keep my head up and not get too bogged down with what I wasn't doing, I decided to start this series as a gentle reminder of the adventure portfolio I was building with a FIRE twist.  So instead of bemoaning my twenties, I want to take some time to celebrate that part of The Journey! Come along! I urge you!

THE HACK


2008 Summer China Travel and Teaching Program
July 1-26, 2008

Where I was placed

Nanjing Foreign Language School-Xianlin Campus
Xianlin Blvd, Nanjing
Jiangsu Province, China

HOW I FOUND ABOUT THIS


Craigslist!

THE DETAILS


Summer China Travel and Teaching Program is sponsored by local Chinese schools in China. It provides North American teachers with a unique cultural experience and a learning opportunity through tours in China as well as professional development on Chinese language and culture that is offered on campus.
REIMBURSEMENT & EXPENSES


  • Your international airfare of $1,185.00 will be reimbursed to you after you arrival in China. You will receive RMB 3,000.00 for your shopping money upon your arrival in China and the rest of the amount in US Dollars after you arrive at school.



  • The Chinese school will pay for your daily meals, hotel housing, local transportation, and tours (housing, meals, admissions, local transportation and domestic flights in China) to Nanjing, Suzhou, Hangzhou, Shanghai, and Guilin. Local bus transportation will be provided for tours to Shanghai, Nanjing, Suzhou, and Hangzhou. You will fly from Hangzhou to Guilin and from Guilin to Shanghai.


MEMORY STOCK

 

 

 

 










typical family style meal, low meat, lots of veg

 












even more economic than cloth diapers: NO diapers! #FIREapproved

 










FIRE approved transportation!

 










who needs a high rise with an elevator, when there's good ole human backs

 

 

 











#freerange

 


[caption id="attachment_249" align="aligncenter" width="300"] I took Polaroids on this trip so I could have actual pictures. Price of a Polaroid camera in 2008: $3.99[/caption]


 

Related Content:

Throwback 20s: How I Traveled to Oxford, England for Free

Throwback 20s: How I Travel-Hacked a Trip to New England!

Throwback 20s: My Free Trip to Washington DC!

3 Things I Lust For After Watching Netflix's Terrace House

So if you haven't yet watched it, the latest season of Netflix's Terrace House is available for binge watch. It's in Japanese with English subtitles, and it's really good. For those of you who miss the original Real World on MTV before it became too naughty and predictably acrimonious for this elder millennial, Terrace House is your Japanese solution.

About Terrace House


Terrace House follows six Japanese-speaking strangers, beautiful as to be expected as this is television after all, as they pursue their dreams of love, friendship, or sense of purpose. The best scenes seem to happen around regular family-style dinners and the in the designated boys' room or girls' room. Here the beautiful strangers openly discuss with varying levels of seriousness their plans to pursue each other or their individual goals.  For example, in one season, there was a Japanese-born Los-Angeles-based actor seeking to find "a love worth dying for." In another season, a female ice-hockey player was seeking to bring recognition and awareness to ice-hockey in Japan.

Intertwined with all this are datos (dates), and inevitably as with most strangers-in-a-house series romance unfolds along the way. What is shocking is how PG it all is compared to American television! It takes almost three months sometimes for even the first date to happen, let alone a meek first kiss. But the swelling of the romance over time is what keeps you hooked, at least it does me. That and the exposure to various aspects of Japanese culture makes this show a love worth missing work for!

The problem is after a five-episode binge, I find myself lusting after their life and succumbing to a daydream of my own making.

My real life


In my real life I slog away at my day job and come home and slog away at this here blog, hoping and praying that one day it means something. And if not that, pays something. My last great venture was when I created my first Sunday Funnies - The Life Cycle of A Corporate Drone comic strip. Who knew it would foreshadow events to come. Shortly after it was posted, I ended up having to drag my mattress to the bare floor to sleep after waking up that morning with searing back pain. It felt like I had slept on a bed of hot coals. Events like these or stupid minute things that happen at work but seem so big at the time make me think more about what else I can do accelerate My Early Retirement Journey.

However the numbers don't lie. Compound interest takes time. Thus I soothe myself with a crafty daydream or two.  Instead of what I would do with a million bucks, I consider what I would do with one million hours. So after a few sleepless nights, anxious about the next workday, and in physical pain, I let my mind wander on what my life could look like if I actually did leave the workforce on my own terms. It changes day to day, but inspired by my latest binge-watch of Terrace House, here's what's playing.

What I'd rather be doing instead


#1 Learn Japanese.

It's a Japanese show so all the cast members speak Japanese. Many of them are half Japanese and in the Hawaii season, many of them were also Americans.  I like the staccato of the Japanese language, and I was a linguistics major in college so language has been a long-time interest. I think learning a new language at this stage in my life would at least stimulate my left-brain. It would be both a mental and creative challenge and one I would enjoy. I had previously considered moving to South America to improve my now waning command of the Spanish language, but after Terrace House I want to learn Japanese!
#2 Spend a season in Nagano after learning Japanese.

Naturally, if I had one million hours, I would have time to travel. Travel isn't high on my list at the moment, but if I had nothing but time, I suspect it would creep up on said list. The show takes place in a quaint looking town called Karuizawa in the Nagano prefecture of Japan. From what I've seen, it's a four season town, with beautiful mountainous landscapes and parks and trees and nature for days. Many a datos has involved a nature escape.  Nagano also speaks to a budding desire of mine to live in a mountain retreat and do yoga all day. It seems like the perfect spot for that.
#3 Make and eat loco moco.

On the Aloha State season, the new cast of beautiful strangers was based out of Hawaii and the dining experiences were mouth watering. Every other meal involved some sort of brown sauce, my favorite kind of sauce. The dish du jour was Hawaii's loco moco. If you've never seen or tasted it, you must Google it or watch the show for high def visuals. I couldn't find a photo to do it justice. It's essentially rice with hamburger and delicious gravy topped with an over easy egg. My mouth is watering just typing this.  After watching the show, I did bumble around the single girl kitchen to concoct my version, but that was a fail. I obviously need to visit Hawaii to have it done right!
Your turn

What about you, if you were suddenly blessed with one million hours of free time, what would you rather be doing?

Related content: How Design-Thinking Can Inspire Your Early Retirement Journey

Follow/ Like/ Subscribe

(Originally published on 14Aug2018; updated 19Sep2018 MERJ)