Boss is Out, Day 2

 I'm having some weird feelings. 

Work is strange. I feel like I'm maybe not as vocal as others might want me to be, but for some reason I'm fighting this. I'm also not joining in on the video conferencing. I don't want to use my video. #singlegirllife I don't get dressed every morning. Maybe that should be an expectation, but oh well. 

Today in a meeting, I felt quite overlooked. 

Talking to my co-worker is like talking in circles. We don't communicate well. She doesn't really understand what I'm asking. 

My boss is supposed to be off, but she's still emailing us.

Every little step is a conversation. I hate it. 

In a meeting, we'll table a discussion and people act like they don't know what the answer is. When I follow-up, there suddenly is a consenus. Am I being gaslighted? This has happened at least twice now. Three times even.

My soft goal has just been to focus on the work I've been hired to do instead of having comments and feedback on work I have experience in. That's been hard. 

I want to take larger steps but everything is a process and I don't own any process so that I can see it through from beginning to end. 

There's a 17 page document that I think could and should be 5. I even started to create the 5-page version of it - honestly, just for my sake- but I don't think the author of that document will be amenable to changes. 

I'm supposed to be eating dinner at 6p, but I think I'm ready to be done with this day at 4p. I want to eat my beans and rice and brownie and find something to watch. Trying to decide if I should redeem my 1 year free Apple TV offer right now. I have 3 months to redeem it.