I don't feel fearless but i still feel happy

 it's been a stressful couple of weeks. and then family was in town. didn't really enjoy that. but i'm happy to say i survived it.

there were small spikes in anxiety and general lack of enjoyment, but there was no surprise.

i am not sold on the family time part of life...and guess what...that's okay.

i don't need to be.

i can stay in my life the way i want to live it even if no one else agrees or understands.

that my friends is what it's taking me 40 years to learn.

i also realized i don't enjoy waking up for work.

i just don't.

i'm 86% confident i will retire and not miss it.

i'm 86% confident i'm going to leave work in a year.

when i try to care about work, i find i just don't.

i'm only hanging on for a couple fat payouts early next year.