Here's the thing about death

 Today was my aunt's birthday. You know, the one that died. Yesterday was my father's funeral. Using someone else's FB account, I stumbled upon my parents' wedding photo. 

I'd never seen it before. Can you imagine?

There's a deeper sadness in this grief that I haven't been able to articulate. 

Here's the thing - when my people die they take their story with them, but they take my story as well. I don't know anything about my father. I didn't grow up with him. What was I like as a child? What was it like to know me? What was it like to love me? How did I make him feel? 

And what about him. What was he like as a child? What was his favorite Christmas present? What did he dream of? What was he like when he was my age? 

From a girl who never felt her feelings, all I do is feel things now. I feel so much loss. More than I ever knew a person could feel.

I never got to know my people as people. They were for the most part my caretakers. What were they like as children? What was I like? What was it like to parent me? 

When they died they took their story with them, and they took part of mine. 

When the next generation takes our place, will the world ever know we existed?