May 6, 2019 Life Update: Where do I go from here?

Originally published/last updated on myearlyretiremenjourney.com on 06May2019.

Last month I decided to start tracking these non-budget metrics: work, life, money. As a bonus, I day dream a bit in a section I call “I Dream of Early Retirement.” Here’s my latest update.

Work

For funsies, I just crafted a resignation letter that has me leaving in two weeks. It wasn’t even a bad day at work. I ended Sunday evening with that familiar dread. I’m actually pretty lucky! My job is NOT that bad. In fact, it’s not bad at all. If I could identify my problem, I could find a solution. All in all, I just don’t enjoy working.
In the first quarter of this year, I found myself on the job market for no good reason. Five interviews later, I’m in the same position at the same desk doing the same thing with just a little more disappointment and heartache than when I started. Le sigh.
I know I want to escape my life, but I just can’t figure out where to go from here. That seems to be an overarching theme since I started this blog.

Life

Most recent life update on this blog: On Being Kicked and Staying Down
I’ve been a bit delinquent on my checking in duties on Aunty MERJ. She has asked me to call her daily, but sometimes I just don’t. I feel awful every time but it’s as if I want to feel awful because at least I’m in control of that feeling. It’s hard being a human.
My trips in March weren’t really that fun truth-be-told. I thought having something to look forward to would help, but it didn’t really. I have another dumb trip planned this weekend and I wish I could just get my money back and stay home.
Of note, my iron stores are extremely low, so that may be contributing to my general lack of energy. The iron pills keep upsetting my stomach so I stopped after two weeks. I’m back at it again…as of today.

Money

Most recent financial update on this blog: What I Spent on Sweets This Month (Apr 2019)
For funsies, last night I calculated how much money I had easy access to. Using some strategic moves, I could come up with about $10k in savings. So I could essentially quit today and scrimp by for the next 6 months (at $1.5k/mon) with a small cushion for unexpected expenses. But then I’d be OUT OF CASH! Then what? That’s the part that scares me.
Dipping into my retirement accounts just seems so final. So as much as I want to be a little reckless, I’m not quite ready for that much cliff-diving. So I stay.

I Dream of Early Retirement

Today I wanted to boil an egg, cut up some avocado and eat a salad for lunch. However, this morning I had no desire to pack all that or even come up with the thought process required to make that happen.
Last week I also wanted to see the movie Little in the middle of day. I couldn’t. I was working.
A part of me has kind of decided to for real quit my job Sep 13, 2019. I hope to save $10k by then. But the question is, if I think I’m so ready to do it then, why not now?


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