Sunday p.m. check-in

 Considering I've spent the night in 3 different cities in the last week, I've lost complete track of where I am!

I realized I didn't document the great time I had this weekend visiting Newtown. I was recounting it to Maryland Aunty and it made me smile.

I got to visit the city; was driven around. Met some new people. Suffice to say it was a great trip. I drank lots of soda.

This morning I did wake up teary. 

I suddenly wanted to apply to every job. It just really bugged me that I've been so unsuccessful with this job hunt. And of course brain conjured up everyone who seems to get jobs so easily. Grr! So I was hate-clicking through lots of job boards for a sizeable chunk of the morning. It was infuriating. But I couldn't get my computer out to apply anywhere.

I ended up moving to my new unit 1 story up.

On the phone with Maryland Aunty, I ended up going to MacDonald's. It was slow and unsatisfying as always but it also meant I didn't have to think about food for the rest of the day. 

My big plan to go to the grocery store today did not come to fruition. 

I dabbled a bit with getting a Hello Fresh kit, but the earliest arrival is Friday. I thought I'd ordered before for a Thursday arrival but I guess I was mistaken. 

Had I known my plans for staying an extra week, I could have gotten the kit to arrive today or tomorrow. Oh well! 

So I am now tasked with what to do with the next 2 weeks. I want to enjoy my summer a bit (as always before a new project) and also prep.

The big move kind of hit me this morning. Like whoa! This is kind of happening. I'm glad I'm on Standby so even if I wanted to stay and not do anything, the algorithm would move me at some point! Good past choice. 

Well I didn't watch any relationship shows on TLC this Sunday and that seemed to help alot. Not with the morning tears but my afternoon did go by pretty uneventfully.

My wishlist for the next week or 2:

- eat

- enjoy the balcony

-go to the pool?

- do as many of my PT exercises as I can

Charms of the soft life!

 I woke up admonishing myself for wanting to keep applying. I was feeling quite competitive that a colleague was getting interviews. Then I was remembering another colleague that literally has gotten every job I've applied for, seemingly with ease. It's almost comical.

So I was going to take a 1 month hiatus from applying. Eventhough I said I wasn't going to do it at all this year. But here we are.

Then it turned into just make Sept 1 to Aug 31, 2024 your hear of happiness. But I realized when I say 'don't do x or y or z,' I automatically want to do it. So I have to reframe it to emphasize the opposite.

So instead of don't apply, try... enjoy the freedom of 1 job and the flexibility it gives you. Enjoy your downtime and the fact that you can live comfortably on 1 job.

I just want this to be a good year without the pressure of making it the best year ever.

I just choose me and relinquish known stressors. 

Why choose hard when you an choose easy.

Things I want to emphasize/enjoy:

- Enjoy 1 job

- Enjoy the new adventure

- Enjoy self-reliance of solo-adventures

- Enjoy the stress-free path of leaving old memories in the memory book; investing in new relationships and the wonder that comes with it; forming new relationships; re-discovering interests; tilling new fields vs robbing old graves

- Rediscover yourself without the ghosts of the past to haunt you

- Developing new routines focused on where you are now and who is proactively investing in you

- Enjoy the freedom of a fresh start; leave old worries in the rearview (literally)

Yay!

 I guess it was dynamic pricing. I've been searching pretty much daily and the prices went back down! Yay. I will prob check again Tuesday just for a data point.

But I snagged my refundable roundtrip tickets to Cabo. I don't even second guess paying more for refundable. It's an easy yes. 

Friday check-in

 Wheee! I feel good. I just took a cool rinse off and I'm in bed at the hotel. I want to take a nap. I have some cran-grape juice that I paid $3 for and drank it. Yum. Money helps.

I saw the apartment I might rent and if we're going with the only objective of - not terrible. Mission accomplished. I can't say I love it, but I didn't hate it. It's downtown and I think I want to live downtown. It's hard to think and observe though when it's hot.

A very nice lady drove us around for 3 hours last night and I saw some other neighborhoods. Where she lives is very suburban and maybe in the future I would live there but for what I'm trying to do, I think downtown suits. If nothing else, my place is affordable. Hopefully when they clean it up, it'll be more refreshing and appealing. But yeah, without opening up all the cabinets etc, I think it'll be fine. The price is right. The location is fine. Check, check.

I already met a ton of people, I just hope I can see them again when I move. So it's nice for this to be actually happening. Wow, this is happening folks.

Grandpa is even adding a 3 month wellness benefit. I decided to prioritize massages as a splurge. Or just #lifestyleupgrades.

Overall, the weekend was a success. Nothing bad happened. I'm almost excited to go.

Work was fine. Got my task done. Didn't log in today at all. I'm pretty stoked about Cabo.

I've been peeping tickets and overnight they went up $200. I don't know if that's just surge pricing or if they're here to stay. 

But I didn't love it. 

My backup is flying Southwest. The $600 tix aren't refundable but at least I can get a travel credit. Which is good enough. 

But I'll still wait until Tuesday because why not at this point. I haven't even checked the hotel to see if those have shot up.

Is it back to school pricing. I mean I'm certainly making a lot of plans.

Anyway, that's the happs. I kind of want to sleep but I agreed to go walk in the hot sun with one of the other party people. 

Thurs a.m. check-in

 Well, friends, I have landed in Newtown! 

So far, so good. I passed a couple of spots that look trendy. Cool!

A lady talked to me at the Uber stand. 

The ride from the airport was < $20 which was also nice. Frugal foible - the hotel had free airport shuttle! Whoops. Oh well! (<< progress!)

This morning the burning thought was - um, I'm not needy. I've been kind of beating myself up for being so emotionally needy. Why can't I just get on by myself when forming these connections just isn't going my way.

Then I look around and um, I am quite normal. Other people just have full cups. That's why I look needy. Me calling myself emotionally needy is like calling a hungry person needy; or a poor person financially needy; or an unhoused person needy for a home. Yeah, those needs aren't being met. They are pretty basic and essential.

But my immediate community are getting their needs met by their families. Doy. Their hands aren't out because their needs are met.

I'm not sure why I haven't accepted the emotional support from Maryland Aunty, Florida Aunty, and my Seattle Mom. I guess it's like those duds I laugh at who would rather be alone than accept my affection. I just want someone to myself that I don't have to share. Really, it's not even about sharing. I just can't rely on these people to be there for me emotionally. Which isn't to say they aren't there - just not reliably. They have other priorities. And I know I will dive in all the way. And still be left with my hand out.

So yeah, I'm not actually needy. I just have an unmet need. There's a difference.

Back to the present.

Um, yeah some frugal foibles is a part of the transition I guess. There are just higher priorities than trying to squeeze a buck out. I did save $2 at Chik Fil A yesterday by opting out of a meal for a drink I didn't really want. Yay!

Yesterday, I did have a mild panic about finances but luckily money is countable. I was able to list my projected expenses for the next 5 months and list my net pay for the next 5 months and luckily those 2 numbers match with a $4k cushion.

I was also more confidently able to write out my vacation plans. And outside my incoming paychecks I have enough to cover vacation expenses. Yay! I do need to set aside money to pay off my medical bill though. And I think in the next financial year, I'm going to look into just keeping $5k in savings and no additional cash emergency fund. I have such a big cash stash for early retirement that I'm a little unsure how much additional cash I need floating around. It's probably not a big deal either way but still. Tighten up where you can.  Oh, and as I wanted I already forgot about my Housing Fund. So yeah, I don't need more cash sitting around. 

Onwards! Gosh, I got excited about a text alert, and it was just an update on my housing. Ha! 

But yeah, I slept relatively well last night. I got up with sweat soaked pjs and had to change my clothes. So a shower is in order today. I'm hungry and breakfast ends at 9a but I am not ready to go to downstairs. So hungry I shall stay. I'm hoping to relax till 9a and then finish up a work task before my next meeting at 10a.

Talk more later!