Sunday a.m. check-in

 Claiming solo living is invigorating. I can see so much clearly now. I just feel less anxious about forming relationships because I know they're not essential for my survival. I can give credit to the medication. 

I talked with one of my relatives who is quite a bit judgmental. I used to think she was in my invisible audience but it's like now I can see her clearly for who she is. We used to hang out a lot and I think some nostalgia played into trying to re-establish a relationship. But when we talk each time I'm happier every time that our conversations are far and few between. There were some things I could've said to put her in her place, but it's like...who cares. We'll maintain a distant family relationship as we don't really find occasion to be in each other's company on a regular basis. 

Being removed from my old environment (and with medication), it's like my vision is clearer. My perspective is clearer. 

I was nervous about befriending my old neighbor because I was unclear what his intentions were. And I also didn't want to fall into old patterns of accepting male attention at any cost. I'm not really interested in being anyone's therapist or ear and getting nothing out of it.

But I think the last hang sort of solidified an older brother ish type relationship. And I don't have to worry as much.

Again, #sololiving. I have a lifestyle that I've chosen and it really, really helps. I think just not feeling like I have to defend it. Or looking for somewhere to fit in. And the more I meet people, the more I say it, the more real it feels.

Again, just another example of removing myself from a traumatic situation has made a big difference. 

Since I ended up going to my new place to try place yesterday, today I'm going to try a new to me fastfood joint. Easy, peasy.

I updated my spreadsheets yesterday, but didn't do much reflection. I'm still deciding how I want to fund the Car Fund. Surprisingly, I was in budget for food. Entertainment and Vacation are all over the place. 

Oh, also, Gate 1 had a sale on Australia, that turned out to be a pretty good deal eventhough I'm not local to LAX. So I will keep an eye out for anymore flash sales. It's been a few nights now and I'm still defaulting to my 2 short jaunts over the Christmas holiday.