A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Thai Place

 

I have so much to say and no one to say it to! What to do.

Ugh, work!

I just wish I knew what the future holds.

I wish I knew how to really hit one out of the park.

Things that stuck out to me with feelings I can't quite articulate:

- The meeting about customer response questions - things I said were said by someone else; I'm not sure how my comments landed; did I provide the right information? Did I say it the right way? I felt like more was expected of me? My decision not to rock the boat but a white man was welcomed with open arms left me a bit unsettled. 

- The meeting where I was asked about exiting a patient off the program. Was my response the right response? 

- Then I was asked about enrolling caregivers - but the program manager answered for me. Is this the right thing? If I think we're all one team, then it's okay. But if I'm supposed to be the answerer, then it's a problem. 

Then I had a meeting with my manager. When she asks for insight based on my past experience, I wish I had more reliable contacts at Call Center #1. They would be most helpful.  Did I say the wrong thing? Am I doing work that is meaningful to the overall group goal? 

I don't know why I need to be constantly reassured, but somehow I do.