What’s surprising to me is how eventhough I have the same thoughts every Monday they still present themselves as new. And I still react to them as though it’s the first time I’ve encountered them. I’m still just as distressed and sad and bewildered and lost and upset- all the feels- every Monday morning. Why is this is my life? I know I eventually get over it. I know the questions are rhetorical. And worst of all I know how far away my FIRE date is!
Sometimes it helps to unburden myself of my thoughts by expressing them, even virtually into the void. I hope too just by looking at this from time to time I can realize how regular and ridiculous these thoughts are and continue to keep swimming.
Without further ado, here are my thoughts on repeat in my mental playlist every Monday.
#1 I don’t want to go work today.
#2 I’d rather be dead.
#3 I don’t want to be a non-white-man in America anymore.
#4 Can I call in sick?
#5 I’m quitting in 2 weeks.
#6 I should give it all up and move to Europe.
#7 I should give it all up and be a lady of leisure for an indeterminate amount of time. To heck with personal finance goals!
#8 Why was I born?
#9 Why did my parents have me if they can’t provide for me (a life of leisure)?
#10 Bonus. How do people do this everyday? For 30+ years?
You’re not alone. Everyone would rather be doing what they love rather than what they have to do. Life sometimes is about sacrifice and gritting your teeth to get to where you want to be, but eventually you will.
ReplyDeleteYou say that. But it doesn't feel that way. But I appreciate you saying that. It would've been so much simpler to be born a royal or a trust fund kid. I know, I know.. wrong perspective. I'll be better tomorrow...
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