I Made it to the Beach!

I did it! I actually did it! I think I was in my 20s the last time I went to the beach, but don't quote me. I did it and I did it by myself.  That might be a first, but I don't want to think too hard on that one.

I woke up after 9a still unsure what I was going to do. I felt the urge. I thought my aunt would like it if I went, so I got out of bed. I thought there's nothing I really have to do today, so I started to get ready.

I hauled my rolling backpack out of the closet along with my old work cooler. I loaded 2 rolls, ham, chips, a juice box, carrots, and 1 Cherry Coke into the cooler. Whoops, I lost all the ice packs during the move. One of them was leaking, and I figured I'd be going nowhere anytime soon, so tossed them all.  I added a semi-full jug of water into the cooler, as well.

In the rolling back pack went my brand new beach towel, beach bottoms (that I hand-washed this morning), iPad (for e-book and audiobook), and another bag of warm clothes collected from pieces that I found strewn about the house. Sometimes after a beach day, I just feel sooo cold, so I brought that bag just in case; I also wanted a plastic bag for wet things.  Off I went, then remembered, I didn't have a bikini top packed! Whoops, back into the house.

As predicted, it was about a 2 hour drive. Not much traffic but I did see a few cars ahead of me with beach gear. There are quite a few beaches in that easterly direction (obviously), so more than one of us had the same idea.

I took the scenic route, let my hair down, and let my fingers sift through the breeze.

I couldn't figure out the parking when I arrived, so I parked on a grassy patch I saw a couple other cars parked. Going to the beach is so much better with less traffic and less sun! 

This is more of a beach town, so there's not a boardwalk or anything like that. It was a good number of people - more or less one row deep- along the beachfront.  Lots of little kids and grandparents, it seemed to me.

I stayed just shy of 5 hours. I even got in the water -twice. The first time it just felt too cold. The second time I was on a mission. I came out here to let go of my burdens, to feel weightless. Between Hour 3 and 4, I finally got in. I let the waves push me around, knock me down, wash over me, refresh me.  I let out out a few yelps. I'd love to say I came out completely healed and renewed. I didn't.

Most of the afternoon, I spent watching the waves, catching some zzz's, snacking, read a little bit, checking email, worrying about unknowns, and surfing the internet. Mostly what I did at home, just outside.

I'm glad I went anyway!

8:14pm - Another Work Week, done and dusted

I couldn't log-off without reflecting on my week, or at least the day, or at least the last few hours.

I was looking forward to so many things this week. Some of these things include - receipt of the stimulus check, my new credit card, perhaps a deposit from an outstanding transaction, churning some more bank bonuses, completing onboarding paperwork for my new job, maybe some clarity on my next stage in life.

I'm not sure where the stimulus check is these days. I really wanted it direct deposited - not only to meet a requirement for a bank bonus but so I could track it since my address changed after my last tax return. I mean who even knows what happens if I don't receive it. I just hope it's not stolen. Good thing I hadn't really earmarked it for anything.

I'm giving Chase another 2 week grace period to send the credit card because I know they have been busy.

I'm chucking the deposit from XXX down the road.

I've reached the max on bank bonuses because now I just get denied, so I'm not sure what to do with my hands during free time at work. Hmmm...

I'm stumped about the onboarding paperwork. I just can't log onto the site. But I know with large corporations, once you veer off the happy trail, it's hard to get things corrected. I guess I can only hope it's fixed before I start. I am happy that I at least have written confirmation that I'm cleared to start. And on Day 1, I'll have access to real Workday, so that'll be good.

As for my life, I made some mental notes to re-assess quite a few things.

Washer/ dryer - check back in 2 weeks (May 30)
Furniture for new house (incl couch, tables, robovac, etc) - hold off until living here permanently; will move leftover earmarked money to House Fund Savings Account.
Security system - probably purchase in 2 weeks

When shall I move?
Right now, I'm estimating having to be on site in The City no earlier than Mon, Jul 6 (two weeks after my hire date).
With that as a tentative goal, I would anticipate moving the weekend of Jul 4.
Obviously this is a moving target, but it gives me at least a timeframe to start from.


Personal life
I missed my old college roommate's birthday by a few days. I used to feel really bad about something like this, but these days I just let it go. I definitely don't feel the pressure I once did to be a "good friend." Everyone I know has made it abundantly clear that their friendship with me is low on the priority totem pole. 

I have identified an emotional space I would like filled. I think I would benefit from having an interaction with a human where I could download my day for 20 or 30 minutes to an hour at least 5 times a week. If I were to imagine it, it would be an easy low-stakes interaction Sun - Thurs after work. I'd love at least 1 free day (Saturday) where I'm not obligated to talk to anyone. And I know Sunday after 5p is always an unhappy time - the dread of the upcoming work week, so I'd definitely want the interaction on that day.

It would be a space where I felt seen and heard. It would be regular, structured, and reliable. It would be one where I always felt good after wards. I would be willing to be that for someone else.

I don't know if this space exists in the current world because humans are so tricky and so unreliable - myself included. But if it did, I sure could use it.   I tried integrating friends back into my life beginning in 2019, and it just didn't produce the results I desired.

9:34am Thoughts - Neighbor, Funeral, Moving

So like the dummy of wishful thinking I am, I, of course, got back on line and the first thing I did was check if Wespath had made a deposit. Nope.  If it wasn't there at 4a, it's not going to be there at 9a. I'm so curious what the reason is, but I refuse to open their emails and listen to their voicemails, lest I break out into tears. I haven't cried in a few days and I'd like to keep it that way.

Other thoughts in my brain at the moment...

• Why is the neighbor's music still bumping? It was on when I went to bed last night; it was on at 4a and it's still on? How can you listen to thumping music at 9a? Oh, the world! 

•  I'm excited about possibly opening a new account for bank bonus today. The site said originally it's for Illinois residents only, but some out of state people have been successful. So I'll prob try today if I have free time! That's exciting.

• I think anxiousness will get the best of me for the Fulton bank bonus. The methods I tried for direct deposit haven't triggered anything, so I might try to meet the debit card transaction requirement instead. My goal is to do it entirely online.  I'm letting impatience win because that bonus should post by next week if I get the transactions done in the next few days.

• I think I mentally decided to push the move to the City until Jul 1. Meaning, I don't see myself moving to The City for the new job any earlier than July 1. I might either move that weekend or re-assess. 

• I was scheduled to have 2 days bereavement leave in early June for the memorial service for Aunty MERJ, but the service has been postponed due to COVID. I want to still have the 2 days off, since as of this current moment, I'll be resigning that position anyway. Thus, I won't need to save that time.  My hesitation is that on more than one occasion our project lead has been asking people to update the Time Off Calendar if plans changed due to COVID. I have a feeling it'll be mentioned in passing.  Although the Nervous Nelly I am wants to nip it in the bud now, it's worth waiting until the last minute if the reward is having 2 days off! 

Ahhhh man!

After being rejected for 3 bank bonuses and spending most of my free time yesterday looking for alternate bonuses, I just checked my bank account and the Wespath $$$ didn't post!

My goal was to split the money across no more than 2 accounts to try to generate $500 in bonuses.

Grr! Well, then I guess I'm glad I only was able to open 1 bank bonus yesterday in anticipation of this deposit. I did find an alternate though with HSBC. It was so late and their requirements were so complicated, I decided to hold off until I actually received the Wespath payout. Good on me!

I'm still hoping maybe the funds will post later today, but that's not likely. Grr. I haven't been opening their emails or listening to their voicemails. I still don't plan to engage until my previously scheduled time around mid-June.

That's 3 outstanding financial transactions now - Chase card, stimulus check, and now Wespath payout.

Alright, it's 4a...I'm going to try to get some more sleep.

Cleared for hire and a Beach Day!

1:12pm Phew! After mild panicking this morning about not being able to log onto Big Pharma's onboarding site, I just got a confirmation that I'm cleared for hire. You know my mind just thought the worst - I can't log-in because I don't have the job anymore. So, the email was a welcomed affirmation.

Still can't log-in. I guess I'll try again tomorrow? I've sent two emails now - 1 to the recruiter and 1 to the guy I've been working with for onboarding. Still awaiting a response.

In the meantime, after much hemming and hawing, I applied for the PenFed bank bonus and was DENIED. I had already said I was going to wait till June after a couple recent rejections, but you know me - can't wait.  Well that stopped that train. I wish I had just applied 2 days ago and been denied instead of spending the last 2 days giving it my mental energy just thinking about applying.

If I do get the Wespath deposit tomorrow, there're still 2 more accounts I want to open to churn that money while COVID takes a tour around America. For now, the funds are eventually getting invested, but I want to sit and look at it (j/k) for at least 3 months. It seems like what a financially responsible person would do given #pandemic. Some people seem to be hoarding money anyway.  I hadn't given it much thought. All my regular savings are still on automatic, so it's just these new influxes of money that have a question mark.

And while the stimulus check has not yet been received (I hope it's not lost), I hadn't really thought much about what to do with it. I think I'll churn it if I can otherwise it's going in savings for now, but optioning it for potential homemaking purchases.

Beach Day
It's supposed to be in the 80s this weekend and the North Carolina beaches are mostly open! I haven't been to the beach in at least 5 years, and my grief is just calling to feel weightless and unburdened. So, in the middle of buying bacon this morning, I just decided I was going to the beach.

I bought a beach chair ($6), beach bottoms ($11), sandwich stuff ($3), chips ($1), soda ($3), and a beach towel ($5). Oh and 1/2 a tank of gas ($10). I'm not even totalling it. But the only thing stopping me now is me!