I decided to be happy anyway!

 I've been fretting over job insecurity but this morning I was reminded that I already had an exit plan prepared. It did not account for my new car payment, but it's there none the less. 

As I saw my $700 AirBnB bill, I smiled a bit. It's 2 nights in the woods, and I went for it. I get to be in the woods with my new community and stay in a fancy cabin. And the thought made me happy giggle. 

There's still the background thought that the car accident could've cost me more than my car and $30k (ie, my life). I didn't have any immediate regrets or bucket list items I suddenly had to do, but now I splurge a bit more. Because if Honda can take my money, then I can certainly use it on myself for $5 Funyun flavored chips and swanky cabins in the woods.

I decided to put my worry about my job on the shelf. It will definitely be an ego beating and right now I am hoping to just make it to Bonus Day 2024 just to have that extra cushion to take the sting out of the car purchase. 

So I'm going to play the game as best I can and hope there aren't too many bumps along the way. I hope to be in a better place once that cushion comes but even without it, I'll be okay.

I'm okay. I'll be okay. I have 4 decades under my belt, the next 20 ought to be a piece of cake!

I'm just excited with all the new adventures ahead.

I do feel quite a bit subdued with the new medication but I'm liking the benefit of thoughts (good/bad) just not lingering. 

I've already socialized and gone out of the house this week. And I didn't die! Imagine! 

They just announced GrandBoss' replacement and it's not Bruno which is great! 

Oh sweet, I just joined another meeting because I was tired of our group meeting and I see another colleague had the same idea! 

Also at the dentist, the dentist affirmed that my gold crown was a good choice, unprompted. I was questioning it because it was self-destructive emotional decision. Yay!

And just overall, I like the community I'm a part of here even though I'm not fully integrated. I feel a bit like the chosen few and a bit like a celebrity.

I decided to prioritize finally settling in over the next week before I leave for work trip next Monday. I plan to watch episodes of Below Deck. 

I'll prob still keep it simple, but I need better access to my clothes.

Last night I slept with my mask on and did not wake up coughing. I took it off and just now feel a tickle in my throat.

Anyway, today I feel better overall about my apartment, work, car, and life in general. 

I've also been looking at what I want to do for Christmas. There was a sale on a European trip over Christmas that got me a bit excited. Europe isn't high on my list, but I realized I liked the idea of being not-here over Christmas. It was sold out before I could make up my mind, and then I accidentally stumbled upon a 3 country SE Asia trip...might save that for a future.

I went through all the RIU hotels..and the cheapest is a trip to Panama over Christmas week, but it's a family friendly hotel. And everyone will be out of school, so not sure I want to be around gross kids. 

Oooo...maybe I go to Panama first week of December just for the fun, and then return to Cabo to the adult only hotel over the holidays just for sanity. So that should be around $2500.

Also was tempted for an epic 1 week in Senegal for about $6k...so we shall see.

I think priorities that rose to the top of list: warm, get away over Christmas, no kids.