Underemployment Diaries: Week 2, Disgruntled Lamentations

Originally published/last updated on myearlyretirementjourney.com on Oct 19, 2019. 

I survived my 2nd week at Call Center 2. Aunty MERJ asked me if I “liked the new job?” I said No.

I mostly just feel disgruntled. At this early in the game, I’m a bit worried. To be fair, I think a large part of it is the failure to secure a proper Med Info job at Big Pharma*. So I’m displacing some of that disappointment on this job.(*Full disclosure, still secretly hoping to hear back from two at some point in the near (2 wks) or distant future (6 mon). In much the same way, I secretly hope my royal parents will come back to claim me after a mix-up at the royal hospital.)

My commute doesn’t help. My fussy new manager doesn’t help. The lack of organization and new meeting invites doesn’t help. The less pay doesn’t help. The more hours certainly don’t help.

If I wanted to focus on the negatives, those would be them.

If I wanted to focus on the positives, I could think about the fact that yay, I’m employed! Being unemployed is worse…right? If I survive 6 more months, when my lease is up I could conceivably move to Cincinnati and start more aggressively saving for FIRE.

But I’d rather focus on how disappointed I feel. I chose two technical degrees because I didn’t want any unconscious bias in hiring practices being used against me. I didn’t want to be deemed not a good “cultural fit.” I thought having technical skills would speak for themselves. I was wrong, and it sucks.

I can see your profile on LinkedIn! I know you had less relevant experience coming into this job than I do. This has happened three times on an on-site interview. People from less relevant backgrounds are in the roles I seek and are the ones influencing hiring decisions. I’m always so curious how they answered the questions they ask me. My skills are directly related to my job because it’s essentially the same job at a higher level.

How is a regulatory affairs person more capable to do a Med Info job than a Med Info person? How is a new grad more capable to do a Med Info job than a Med Info person with four years experience? How is a retail person more capable to do this job than a Med Info person with four years experience? It’s pretty obvious what I think the reason is.

But what can I realistically do about it?

When will I learn I’m not like everyone else. I’m definitely not like the other FIRE community members. Trying to increase my income didn’t work. Quitting my job to seek mini-retirement and some sort of bliss didn’t work. Making enough money didn’t give me any more choices. One of my new co-workers actually called me greedy for wanting to be paid what I was due. It’s just more frustrating.

If I could redo the last 3 months, I would’ve just stayed at my last job and kept counting down the years until FIRE. I wasn’t that happy there, but I wasn’t as miserable near the end as I had been. I’m certainly not any happier here. Quitting my job was a mistake. Looking for a better job was a mistake. There really isn’t enough room at the top for everyone. I already knew this. I was meant for ordinary things. I know this. I’ve known this. If I would just accept it is the thing.