Underemployment Diaries: Week 3, Are you there, God? It’s me, MERJ.

Originally published/last updated on myearlyretirementjourney.com on Oct 26, 2019. 

Here we are at week 3. So much to say, yet so little. Namely because what I have to say is not new.

Everyday is a battle to get to work. On the ride to work, I’m thinking of how and when to quit. My mind is on a continuous loop of all the things I don’t like. And all the left choices I made to get to this point. By the time I finish the day, I think well another day, another dollar.

Basically what stops me from doing anything drastic is remembering I don’t really have anything else I’d rather be doing. I think once I start getting rude callers, I’ll be more inspired to make a change. Since I’m just in training, once I get to work, it’s easy just to stay.

Mostly what keeps me up at night is recalling the bad behavior I experienced throughout out my, now at least, 200 applications this year. I thought the worst that would happen would be not hearing back. No. The worst is being invited; getting your hopes up; prepping; being treated poorly; and still trying, as the applicant, to be on your best behavior (read: not speaking up for yourself). I still struggle with not speaking up for myself.

I’ve lost track a little of what I even wanted out of this endeavor because at this point it just feels like an incomplete task. At the very least, I think I wanted to make more money and get off the phones. In my new job, I make less money and am still on the phones, now with drug addicts. Yippee.

So, God, in case you do give me what I must have asked for at some point, here’s how I’ll know you answered. For my next job, I would like:

• Earn enough to save $500k in 4 years or less (i.e FIRE in 4 years)
• Flow (skill = challenge)
• Cool town (undefined, but near nature? and not in NC?)
• Cool people (where I can exist without explanation)

Speaking of God, the girl next to me shared some of her job struggles and she has 10 more years of experience in our field than I do. Funnily, I thought she would perform better in the job hustle. She seems to have herself together; is married with child (so shared experiences); didn’t seem like she would freeze on the spot; more varied work experiences to draw from; an ethnic name that I thought some recruiters/hiring managers prefer (but she does have an accent). I’d love to say that just goes to show you never know. But that’s not true in this instance. She thinks it’s favor (as in God’s favor) that causes some people to get to where they’re going with fewer obstacles. I call it discrimination, and I’m sure those who benefit from bias call it earned. Yes, Becky, Priya, and Phuong, we can see your LinkedIn profile, you definitely earned it!

On an uplifting note, it occurred to me that as much as I’ve been lamenting about Call Center 2, were it not for this job, I would be facing yet another angst-ridden month of rejection and unemployment. Cheers!

Medical Information Manager Salaries

Originally published/last updated on myearlyretirementjourney.com on Oct 20, 2019. 

Now that my nationwide job hunt for a role as Medical Information Manager is officially over with no offer, I thought I’d at least share some of my more useful findings.* (*Full disclosure, still secretly hoping to hear back from two at some point in the near (2 wks) or distant future (6 mon). In much the same way, I secretly hope my royal parents will come back to claim me after a mix-up at the royal hospital.)

Partway through the medical information manager job hunt, I started to ask if the medical information manager salary I asked for was within the range. Surprisingly, this was confirmed almost all the time as long as I asked. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of asking in the beginning. Let’s de-mystify this process as much as possible!

What this did for me was two things. If I didn’t move forward in the process, I would know it wasn’t because my salary ask was too high. The second thing is I was able to trend the data points. In doing so, I could identify similarities in medical information manager salary ranges based on several factors. Using this data, I could tweak my salary offer for the next medical information manager role based on company size, listed job duties, and region of the country.

Here are the results of my confirmed nationwide medical information manager salaries:

Medical Information Manager Salary Table

In summary for large biopharmaceutical companies, my ask remains around the $140k mark for the medical information manager salary.  I generally say $137 to $142k to convey some flexibility. For smaller companies, or if you’re responsible for smaller assets or still staffing the phone lines, the salary tends to be less in the $120k range or less.  For strictly call center work with a vendor, the salary is on the lower end as a Medical Information Specialist at $80 – 100k depending on experience.

If this helps you or anyone you know, please let me know! I’d love to share more about my Interview Trail (or is it trials)!

Underemployment Diaries: Week 2, Disgruntled Lamentations

Originally published/last updated on myearlyretirementjourney.com on Oct 19, 2019. 

I survived my 2nd week at Call Center 2. Aunty MERJ asked me if I “liked the new job?” I said No.

I mostly just feel disgruntled. At this early in the game, I’m a bit worried. To be fair, I think a large part of it is the failure to secure a proper Med Info job at Big Pharma*. So I’m displacing some of that disappointment on this job.(*Full disclosure, still secretly hoping to hear back from two at some point in the near (2 wks) or distant future (6 mon). In much the same way, I secretly hope my royal parents will come back to claim me after a mix-up at the royal hospital.)

My commute doesn’t help. My fussy new manager doesn’t help. The lack of organization and new meeting invites doesn’t help. The less pay doesn’t help. The more hours certainly don’t help.

If I wanted to focus on the negatives, those would be them.

If I wanted to focus on the positives, I could think about the fact that yay, I’m employed! Being unemployed is worse…right? If I survive 6 more months, when my lease is up I could conceivably move to Cincinnati and start more aggressively saving for FIRE.

But I’d rather focus on how disappointed I feel. I chose two technical degrees because I didn’t want any unconscious bias in hiring practices being used against me. I didn’t want to be deemed not a good “cultural fit.” I thought having technical skills would speak for themselves. I was wrong, and it sucks.

I can see your profile on LinkedIn! I know you had less relevant experience coming into this job than I do. This has happened three times on an on-site interview. People from less relevant backgrounds are in the roles I seek and are the ones influencing hiring decisions. I’m always so curious how they answered the questions they ask me. My skills are directly related to my job because it’s essentially the same job at a higher level.

How is a regulatory affairs person more capable to do a Med Info job than a Med Info person? How is a new grad more capable to do a Med Info job than a Med Info person with four years experience? How is a retail person more capable to do this job than a Med Info person with four years experience? It’s pretty obvious what I think the reason is.

But what can I realistically do about it?

When will I learn I’m not like everyone else. I’m definitely not like the other FIRE community members. Trying to increase my income didn’t work. Quitting my job to seek mini-retirement and some sort of bliss didn’t work. Making enough money didn’t give me any more choices. One of my new co-workers actually called me greedy for wanting to be paid what I was due. It’s just more frustrating.

If I could redo the last 3 months, I would’ve just stayed at my last job and kept counting down the years until FIRE. I wasn’t that happy there, but I wasn’t as miserable near the end as I had been. I’m certainly not any happier here. Quitting my job was a mistake. Looking for a better job was a mistake. There really isn’t enough room at the top for everyone. I already knew this. I was meant for ordinary things. I know this. I’ve known this. If I would just accept it is the thing.

Tries and Fails: Blogging, Job Hopping, Increasing My Income

Originally published/last updated on myearlyretirementjourney.com on Oct 13, 2019. 

So here’s another life update. Let me first say, I know we all love a happy ending. I mean I stopped watching 7 Little Johnstons because their life just got less happy in favor of The Little Couple because everything is pretty and on the upswing for them. I get it. No one likes a Dougie-Downer.

Yet, I still think it’s important to tell my story because in the parts of the blogosphere I encounter you only hear the great outcomes and the hurdles are given minimal airtime.

Since starting my new job at Call Center 2 last week, I finally got a little bit motivated to check my savings balances. It was more hopeful than I thought. I am happy about that.

Well that led to some reflection on all the things FIRE tells you to do that just haven’t worked out for me.

Blogging. There is so much praise for the side hustle. I did as much as I was going to do for this blog, and after a year it has yet to generate any income. The most pageviews I’ve had were 1,000 unique sessions in one month. In that month I tried all the tricks in the book and found it to be quite tiring and very much like work. Quite a hustle indeed.

Job Hopping. I already knew the reason I stayed at my job as long as I did was because I don’t interview well. Changing my mind about it; prepping; using referrals… none of that worked for me. And as I predicted, it left me emotionally weaker. I don’t know why people keep trying to tell other people that things that don’t kill you make you stronger. Lies. That’s never been true for me. Things meant to fortify me make me stronger, not things meant to kill me. Ugh, le humans.

The thing is I spend a lot of time with myself, and I know myself pretty well. So when people give generic advice or say things like you never know until you try, I scoff. How do you live in a world, when the One Size fits all but you. Sometimes you just have to follow your own path. And stay the course no matter the sweet nothings whispered from the sidelines.

Increasing my Income. This goes along with job hopping. That part is right; job hopping can lead to increased income. It was very difficult to get a raise in my last job. Maybe I should have stayed because leaving just left me battered and bruised emotionally and at a job that pays slightly less. Although it was going to take longer than I wanted, they would’ve eventually had to promote me.   I’m almost comforted by this lateral move. Like, I knew it! So, there’s less to wonder about. Then there was the side hustle last year. Blech.

Yes, my path right now is definitely in my comfort zone and not at all FIRE-optimized. But I learned quite a few years ago that despite my inclinations to something more, the easiest and most reliable path is the one I am already on. And it’s good enough …enough of the time.

Underemployment Diaries: 1 Week Later, A Quick Update

Originally published/last updated on myearlyretirementjourney.com on Oct 12, 2019. 

Greetings, all,

I thought I’d drop a quick note in update about my first week at the new job. I started Monday and ended Friday…intact. So far, so good. It’s mostly just been online training.

Surprises: everything is virtual which makes me question why I have to be on campus at all. Half of the people I’ve met (mostly online) are from Call Center 1 (my previous employer).

Better watch out: I’ve been pretty vocal about some of my concerns. Probably need to watch my mouth.

Looking to the future: As I said, most of the department works remotely. It has been an adjustment period, but it makes my working from home more of a possibility and less like a special privilege as it was at Call Center 1. That said I stumbled upon Cincinnati, OH as a possible next destination. Low rents! I couldn’t do much to increase my salary after 100+ job applications, so I refocused on trying to decrease my expenses.

Money stuff: As I briefly mentioned, new job on paper pays $1500 more than old job. But insurance premiums are $3k, bringing me down to net -$1500. And I’m working 8.5 hour days vs 7 hour days (magic math). Plan to choose high deductible plan (w/HSA) for remainder of 2019 and then 2nd highest deductible plan (w/HSA) for 2020. Based on some rudimentary calculations, I would need to have a lot of healthcare to make the expensive health plan worth it.

Recreation: Still toying with taking a fitness class. If I look at as optional, I am less inclined. If I look at it as necessary for life, it’s a no-brainer. How to convince myself of the latter?

Last bits: Had Big Pharma interview in Boston on Wed. Able to take off work with no hassle. Hoped they’d call me with an offer Friday. No bananas. Had 1 more phone screen on Tuesday, online status on Friday leads me to believe I may make it to an onsite. We shall see. Already received paycheck for this week of work; renewed lease for 6 months after much deliberation; had some doubts (w/tears) about withdrawing interest from Big Pharma NJ after on-site; feel good about plan to move to Cincy in 6 months, at least gives me something on which to focus; family making me crazy with eldercare responsibilities.

That’s it! Have a beautiful day!

Unemployment Diaries: Oct 1, 2 Months of Expenses, More Let Downs, and Aunty MERJ update

Originally published/last updated on myearlyretirementjourney.com on Oct 1, 2019. 

It’s October can you believe it?! Where has the year gone. For anyone else on the job-hustle-train, you have now officially missed the cutoff to get a bonus next year (2020) at your next employer.

This last weekend was such a wallet buster given I only had about $80 to spend for the last 3 weeks of September, so I was quite motivated to see just how much I dumped into the consumer machine in the last 4 or 5 days alone. That means an expense update for the single (and now unemployed) girl! I included the 2 months prior as comparison.

2 MONTHS OF EXPENSES WHILE UNEMPLOYED

2019	Jun	Jul	Aug	Sep
Everyday	$261	$728	$332	$197
Housing	$995	$34	$995	$1,038
Student Loan	$570	$529	$0	$0
Extras/Other	$557	$455	-$415	$104
Gifting/Aunty MERJ	$0	$0	$182	$516
Total	$2,383	$1,746	$1,094	$1,521

Notes on expenses while unemployed (Aug, Sep)

Aug 2019

Everyday Expenses ($332) includes Groceries ($122) and Restaurants ($57) and gas and other incidental expenses.  Nothing too outstanding there. I was home more so I likely bought more convenience foods. And I rented a few movies.

My Student Loan is on hold.

For Extras (-$415), I cashed a reimbursement check from the interview in Chicago.

Gifting/Aunty MERJ ($182) is from $100 when her account went into overdraft. My name is on it; I mostly regret that decision. The rest is from a flight I booked but didn’t take. She was sounding so pitiful and I fell for it. Then regretted it.

Sep 2019

Included in Everyday Expenses was Groceries ($67) which was pretty low. I think I just fried a bunch of things. And fried things are cheap. Restaurants ($57) was also low.

And the numbers we’ve all been waiting for…

Well misleading but Extras (-$104) actually includes $234 in jobbing related expenses for my interview in NJ yesterday.  Plus 20 hours in the car + 6 Ibuprofen worth of pain.

Gifting/Aunty MERJ ($516) is all related to Aunty MERJ. It includes two trips to Tampa which is flights, Ubers, and airport parking. As well as errands and food.  And what’s the price of endless frustration.

Most Recent Let Down(s)

The biggest one that has left me so discouraged and led to a blog post to release some angst is the onsite interview I had at Big Pharma in NJ. So many things. It all started off …well..I don’t want to spend too much time dwelling in that sinkhole so I’ll just copy and paste my notes from my spreadsheet…

Status update:
Candidate Applied- 01Sep2019 > Under Review-03Sep2019; 9/10 e/m for HR phone screen; phone screen 9/12> Under Review-12Sep2019; 9/12 I emailed to let know of other opportunity; 9/19 they email to schedule onsite!! > 9/25 tentative schedule > onsite > 9/30…bleh; didn’t like being redirected, otherwise ok.; online status: interviewing 30Sep2019

On the escorted walk out, one of the schedulers let it slip that I’d hear back yesterday (Monday). It’s Tuesday after 5p. Womp, womp. No one I know waits too long to tell you good news. I know well wishers will say wait a week or two, but everyone I know across several professions has heard back within a day or two at least with a verbal offer. That’s certainly been the case for me for every job I’ve had.

I know I can do these jobs, but I get so rattled when I get an unexpected question. And there’s always one. I had 48 pages of prep notes (30 pages were my presentation) and if something even simple gets asked… I just lose my mind. I black out and halfway through my response I’ve forgotten the question. I gave up on this interview after the first question around 10a… and I wasn’t scheduled to be done until 2p.

My latest question is do I keep suffering “for practice” or will I find strength in leaving an interview early. Will I regain some of the control I lose at the end of each of these? Or should I stop taking day-long and half-day long interviews altogether?

My running tally if you’re counting…

Since Jul 2019, I’ve applied to 118 jobs (not including duplicate openings). Of those, I’ve had callbacks for 17. Of those, I’ve had 4 on-site interviews and one offer.

Since Jan 2019, I would estimate (because I wasn’t keeping tally), I’ve applied at at least 150 jobs; had callbacks on 19 (two because they were related to my last employer). And for YTD, I’ve had a total of 6 onsite interviews. And still just the one offer with my last employer’s direct competitor. It’s basically all the things I didn’t like about my last job + none of the things I did like. I start Monday.

AUNTY MERJ

So two Mondays ago she had a small stroke. One Tuesday ago, she had a mild heart attack. Yesterday she was discharged. Given her comorbidity with dialysis initiation about a month ago, I figure she either has 10 more years (dialysis prognosis) or could have an event incompatible with life any day now. So there’s that.

Thursday as I’m in the ICU with her, I get the email that oh, you have to prep this presentation and oh, there will be a writing assessment.

ANXIETY LESSON LEARNED FROM OUTDAUGHTERED

So I’m watching Outdaughtered and one of the three year olds cries on stage and shuts down when she’s put on the spot. Her parents say she has a little bit of anxiety and took her to an occupational therapist. I feel like…am I her except 35? I just hate being asked direct questions or any type of oral assessment or any type of unexpected question. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!

Not getting these jobs makes me wonder if I even want them. I mean I don’t want to work, but if I have to, I’d rather be making more money to stop doing it faster. That’s ultimately where I end up and I keep applying.

The prep work is what I do to help me combat the unknowns; maybe it’s helping in that I’d be worse off had I not done it. But when I can’t even recall my prepped answers or feel too scared/ unempowered to even look at my own notes, then what good is it? And why can’t I stick up for myself? Like… is someone who’s talking to me this way really then going to hire me? So why not regain control of the situation?