sunday check-in and current struggles

 hi, friends...

it's been a rainy 2 days here in Mytown and i love it. i love that i don't have to go anywhere if i don't want to. and i don't want to!!

i watched a few shows yesterday but today i've been in and out of naps and it's after 1p. 

i finally got the COBRA information from my last job. i am planning to sign up for dental and vision just because i have a history of more complicated dental issues. i will likely exhaust the 18 months with COBRA. I did a precursory look at Marketplace and the premiums were about the same price for similar coverage. I'll keep vision and likely not use it because my vision is pretty much the same. But maybe i'll have another eye exam yesterday.

i've been feeling some feelings of overwhelm with a couple kitchen gadgets i asked for from my retirement party. i think i'll return the oil sprayer because i thought it was empty and i sprayed it and something liquid and wet came out in my eye and smelled like bleach. ugh. 

and somehow the thought of maintaining it seemed too much. 

and i also got a toaster oven...because i used my old one quite a lot but now i don't know. and it's taking up space and causing angst. 

cooking has just been such a source of angst and indecision.

i realized i've struggled with this for years because i have so many food plans and ideas! from decades ago. meal plans, meal ideas, way to trick myself into eating better. ways to simplify my diet to make it easier. and i can't get anything to stick. 

but yeah, i've been eating way too much sugar lately and i don't feel good. my body is actually like stop. but then i wake up the next morning craving it. ugh. i want potato chips. 

so i don't know. trying to give myself a break from trying to solve it right now, i suppose is probably best.

can't figure out how to get rid of the bloat. that's what i want to do most of all. 

but other than that..

oh!

the other thing i realize is... i tend to want things in short bursts.

after my last trip and all my lounge access, i became a bit obsessed with getting lounge access. I applied for the capital one venture x and submitted numerous pre-approval inquiries for the amex platinum card so i can have all the access.

but a month later...that interest is no longer at the forefront. so do i just let it wane or add it to a list somewhere? i think just letting it wane makes the most sense. and last year i really wanted to go to belize for lobster fest...and now..meh, there are other places that have captured my interest.

and after sydney, i really wanted to go back to have more malaysian food..but now i'm 'obsessed' with going back to helsinki...because you guessed it...that's where i just was...

so yeah...just keeping an eye on stuff... oh, and when i was at my cousin's...i loved eating out of these little pasta plates i think the internet calls them...and i just had to have them...until i didn't...

so yeah... i don't know what's up with that...