Unemployment Diaries: Tuesdays, 70 Job Applications, Spain

Originally published/last updated on myearlyretirementjourney.com on Aug 21, 2019. 

Hi, friends. So It’s 5a Wed. I can’t believe it’s only Wednesday, to be honest. Yesterday I was having so many feelings it felt as though a week had passed.

Tuesday is the official D-Day in the Jobbing Process.

I have it on good scientific authority that Tuesday is The Day recruiters or hiring managers get back to you if they’re moving you forward in the process. Although I had narrowed the window to 2-4p to check email because that’s usually the time the emails have arrived, I started checking email that morning at around 7a and didn’t log off my computer until after 10p.

It was wild!

As you can imagine throughout the day there were quite a few emotional breakdowns sprinkled with a few more applications…well 8 more to be exact. Three in the early morning to early afternoon. Then five more to the same company after hours when I had nothing to do with all my angst.

70 Job Applications

It’s still a struggle not to be obsessed with searching things online. I’m convinced the job for me (or my purpose), or the next place to live, basically the answer to all my questions about my life are just one keyword search and click away. After 4 years of searching, including 70 job applications in the last two months, I guarantee you, it’s not.

My goal now is to stop searching and applying in time for Sep 13 (my original date to quit my job this year), so I can really enjoy my time off. Doing what? I don’t know. But it needs to be enough time to unequivocally guarantee no job is going to contact me and I have had time to grieve the loss of all 70 job opportunities. Yes, grieve the loss…that’s what all the cool millennials are doing these days.

Spain

I finally wrote the email a few minutes ago to my contact in Spain. I told them I would not be attending the program this year. I don’t feel anything. I think I already knew I wasn’t going, and it was going to take a compelling amount of feelings to go through the visa-application process. It was about 9 steps too many, and my fluctuating feelings were unsustainable to get through all of the steps.

One minute I’m incredibly discouraged almost angry that I’m not making any progress with my job applications. The other I’m like why am I not enjoying this free time more. I don’t have to work today!! Actually the inundation of Earnin app commercials have helped to boost my mood. There is an app..well more than one now… for people to collect 75 to 100-dollar payday loans. When I take a moment to step away from my bruised ego, I realize my desperation is self-inflicted. Financially, I’m okay…for a little while longer.