i missed a credit card payment!

 ack... charles had me running this credit card plan to have "regular use" on my card. i was done with the plan and thought the last payment was on auto-pay. it wasn't! 

they sent me an email which gave me pause, but i thought surely... it's on autopay. and each bank does their auto-pay emails differently so i couldn't know for sure! 

ack! 

luckily it was only a $5 fee and fortunately i caught it! sheesh. would have been nice if they sent me a late notification though. hmmm

anyway, this is why i can't be using credit cards for regular every day life. 

this feels like sunday school class and church...only to say like everything else... you need to be reminded weekly! 

so i got all excited for responsibly using my credit card the last few months to get "usage"... and so i thought i'd do it for the rest of the year, but nope! sorry, points. i treasure my sanity and financial mental stability over more points. and get the bonus and put in the drawer is my plan. tried and true. if i need to manufacture usage in 2027... i will cross that bridge.

but yeah, after spending all that time adding my new card to my frequent apps, i'm happy to not be using it. 

i'm going to be mad though if i go to use blacklane and forget to use the right card for it... womp, womp.

so yeah, what changes? 

back to meeting the sign up bonus as quickly as possible and putting the card back in the drawer. 

i am planning to use my new card for a travel card though. and apparently i learned if traveling out of the country, take a backup card in case once gets locked for fraud. good tip. that's just the name of the game these days. have a backup plan.

i try not to have too many contingency plans. but criminals have forced my hand. 

so once card #2 comes, i i will meet that spend with rent. 

and then get to working on the other. 

back to my boring old debit card life. 

i see you desperation....and i raise you all of my success!

 yes, so i started this youtube channel with the hopes of being monetized in 3 months...the data does not support that as a likely outcome

but my brain being what it is...is going to that desperate place... maybe this? maybe that? read up on this? read up on that?

remember when i was job hunting for 18 months or when i was trying to get a husband...the desperation, friends.

i'm not that person anymore. 

i've come way too far to slip back into that deep dark dirty hole

so what of my youtube channel?

idk..my goal is to leave it alone for the 3 months for the videos i have scheduled to publish and see what happens... 

well i know what will happen, but brain needs the data

and then leave it alone for real for all of 2026 and then 2027 if i want to upload daily reflection content...i can do that

it's okay for what i want and what is possible to be incongruous

my life is great

and i want to keep it that way!

hi friends!

 so i thought i'd been away longer but it turns out not.

i've been having fun on the youtube.

it's like storytelling with pictures.

i've always been a writer so this has been an interesting creative outlet.

reminds me of my beginner blogger days...where i was SO SURE one thumbnail or edgy blog post would propel me into blogging infamy.

ha!

it's hard not to get sucked into the productivity-achievement wheel of death.

but my experiment was to see if high volume content would fast forward me to monetization in 3 months. as we used to do in my last job, my interim analysis does not show any data to support that.

so i'm slowly backing off.

i don't know what the channel will look like after the 3 months of video i have scheduled published. so time will tell.

i came on here to think through a vacation.

i was having fun playing travel voucher tetris. i had a $100 delta credit and some SW vouchers + a marriott FNC.

so i figure i'd retry a cruise. probably not a bad idea since i'm planning a transpacific cruise next year. 

but then i was helping a family member plan for  a DR stay in december and the prices were reasonable...now i'm thinking...do i want to do that instead? 

by now the voucher roulette crusie has turned into 2 back-to-back cruise cuz that's what all the cool cruisers do. but i'm like...how did not trying to waste $100 turn into a $2k trip!

see how they get you!

the consumer machine wins again.

a friend recently went on 2 week trips...and i was thinking..hmmm...is my short trips a relic of working or would i enjoy actually staying longer???

so i've been trying to default to two weeks since i "need" to spend the money and i have plenty of time...so we shall see

luckily, i know i'm still vacillating on this and i'm still exploring the after effects or early retired life so i gave myself a stop order until at least after my next SW voucher credit posts (this weekend) and perferably after my yellowstone trip to see how i feel after a long trip. 

will have to deprogram myself from short trips and needing the buffer before returning to work. 

funnily i was watching that same friend convince herself that work was fine and she would stay with it for a while...while her face and body showed something completely different.

oh well... my other relatives seem to be having an out of body experience as well. just kind of all over the place..i think their current life and aspirational life are butting heads.

again, oh well.

happy end of july! 

july 20 life update

 all in all, life is good. really, really good. even during summer. i've embraced the heat by staying indoors and keeping the windows open and the fan on.

one of these days, i will get a balcony! 

my youtube channel is an experiment for now, or at least that's what i keep telling myself. also something to keep my hands and mind busy, as i've run out of spreadsheets. i got banned from reddit. i cannot get along with these social media platforms for some reason!

goal with youtube is to make 50 videos, and see what to do from there...

want to see if i can replicate monetization like a youtuber i follow. we shall see. 

not sure what happens if i do or don't... 

part of me is emotionally exhausted from all the reflections and a part of me likes having something to do

but i also want to be done already and reach the end and see what happens

but yeah, the easiest way to beat the heat is just stay in indoors.

i can't sleep so i created a youtube channel!

 well sort of, my friend and i are experimenting with youtube.

please view our terrible videos so we get some views, thanks so much!

Too Hot to Function? 5 Ways I’m Beating the Heat —and It’s the Best $150 I’ve Spent!