hi friends!

 so i thought i'd been away longer but it turns out not.

i've been having fun on the youtube.

it's like storytelling with pictures.

i've always been a writer so this has been an interesting creative outlet.

reminds me of my beginner blogger days...where i was SO SURE one thumbnail or edgy blog post would propel me into blogging infamy.

ha!

it's hard not to get sucked into the productivity-achievement wheel of death.

but my experiment was to see if high volume content would fast forward me to monetization in 3 months. as we used to do in my last job, my interim analysis does not show any data to support that.

so i'm slowly backing off.

i don't know what the channel will look like after the 3 months of video i have scheduled published. so time will tell.

i came on here to think through a vacation.

i was having fun playing travel voucher tetris. i had a $100 delta credit and some SW vouchers + a marriott FNC.

so i figure i'd retry a cruise. probably not a bad idea since i'm planning a transpacific cruise next year. 

but then i was helping a family member plan for  a DR stay in december and the prices were reasonable...now i'm thinking...do i want to do that instead? 

by now the voucher roulette crusie has turned into 2 back-to-back cruise cuz that's what all the cool cruisers do. but i'm like...how did not trying to waste $100 turn into a $2k trip!

see how they get you!

the consumer machine wins again.

a friend recently went on 2 week trips...and i was thinking..hmmm...is my short trips a relic of working or would i enjoy actually staying longer???

so i've been trying to default to two weeks since i "need" to spend the money and i have plenty of time...so we shall see

luckily, i know i'm still vacillating on this and i'm still exploring the after effects or early retired life so i gave myself a stop order until at least after my next SW voucher credit posts (this weekend) and perferably after my yellowstone trip to see how i feel after a long trip. 

will have to deprogram myself from short trips and needing the buffer before returning to work. 

funnily i was watching that same friend convince herself that work was fine and she would stay with it for a while...while her face and body showed something completely different.

oh well... my other relatives seem to be having an out of body experience as well. just kind of all over the place..i think their current life and aspirational life are butting heads.

again, oh well.

happy end of july! 

july 20 life update

 all in all, life is good. really, really good. even during summer. i've embraced the heat by staying indoors and keeping the windows open and the fan on.

one of these days, i will get a balcony! 

my youtube channel is an experiment for now, or at least that's what i keep telling myself. also something to keep my hands and mind busy, as i've run out of spreadsheets. i got banned from reddit. i cannot get along with these social media platforms for some reason!

goal with youtube is to make 50 videos, and see what to do from there...

want to see if i can replicate monetization like a youtuber i follow. we shall see. 

not sure what happens if i do or don't... 

part of me is emotionally exhausted from all the reflections and a part of me likes having something to do

but i also want to be done already and reach the end and see what happens

but yeah, the easiest way to beat the heat is just stay in indoors.

i can't sleep so i created a youtube channel!

 well sort of, my friend and i are experimenting with youtube.

please view our terrible videos so we get some views, thanks so much!

Too Hot to Function? 5 Ways I’m Beating the Heat —and It’s the Best $150 I’ve Spent!

my new withdrawal strategy: simple drawdown + 72t

 so this calculator i made, helped me estimate my withdrawal model for my different buckets. obviously some fine tuning will continue to happen as my retirement trucks on...but... your girl loves a structure..

so it look like for now..i can spend the first 12 years drawing down from my taxable and roth contributions and cash.

and then around age 54, i will need to figure out how to tap into my 401k. i feel like the FIRE wisdom has always been to do the Roth conversions as a way to access 401k money..

well between the markets and me vacillating between loading up after-tax and brokerage...a) i had enough in taxable for more than 5 years...which was kind of the loose plan...and then i stopped thinking about it

b) i looked into 72t and it seems like a very plausible option for me at age 54 where before it seemed like something to avoid

so yeah, this is one of those things were overloading myself with information but checking and rechecking and being flexible paid off.

it seems pretty straightforward to me but maybe i'm wrong..but for now that's my strategy..

basically the last 5 years before i turn 60...i'm going to attempt 72t if i need to access 401k money.

i like it because there's no pressure to rollover my 401k. i know that is also common wisdom, but i like having the pool of money safe...it's like a paid off mortgage for me. 

so i don't feel pressure to rollover or do roth conversions right now

and i think 12 years will be enough data to know how much i might need to withdraw at 55. so that provides some comfort as well

but to the point of all the FIRE wisdom, i think it would be a little scary to be locked into a 72t now at my age and have to stick to that withdrawal rate for the next 20 years...

especially since before even tapping into my investments i already realized i can withdraw more than the 40k/yr and be okay.

so yeah, i think that plan works for me. and luckily i have a few years to know for sure.

i have a regular IRA so i'll likely try to do a roth conversion for the heck of it, but i'm not too jazzed about touching my 401k right now...unless i can do a conversion in plan. 

but i'll save that for probably year 3 once i have control of taxes and ACA subsidies..

Has it really been 3 months?

 eventhough it seems as though i've been retired for almost 3 months... it hits me like a surprise everytime i remember i have these large swaths of time with no plans...

i still try to fill it with plans...because that's what you do right? it's hard to know yet if this is wise or just programming...

so that's an adventure...

at first i was scared with no plans for the next 2 months (Jul and Aug) for this summer.... but after some time looking for things to do and cruises to take or trips to take or classses to take... i realized...actually just this evening...that hey, self!

you have no reading list, no homework, no work, no exams to study for, no semester coming up...and no idea what this is going to be like...once again...i have no real guidelines for the life i've chosen...

but i celebrated a little...did a little dance...and recounted all my past summers...working, looking for a summer job...getting ready for school, just finishing school, suffering, re-inventing myself... blah, blah....

it's harder than i thought to uncouple myself from the machine that is my former way of life...society...

i spent most of the last 2 days looking for cruises... i want to be gone for 2 weeks in july...i think...maybe i can pin a cruise onto the cruise i already don't want to take... to make it worth it... worth what? i don't know... i did find a calculation to try to understand what 'worth it' looked like. by tacking on the cruise i had in mind...i looked to see if that lowered the cost per day (that is, including the flight and possible hotel)... it didn't.. so i'm not sure what 'worth it' even means...

i just feel an urge to fill this free time...

part of it i planned to be 'away' this summer...and i'm objectively not. 

and to be honest, i don't even know if i like cruising...but i'm struck by the 'deal' part of it...and it is an awesome reset to not have access to wifi...and be okay! 

then i got momentarily overwhelmed with..what am i going to eat all summer...i mapped out 2 weeks worth of meals (at 1 meal/week) for the next 2 weeks...and got overwhelmed...

then earlier today i decided to have a little cookout of summer food... i'm going to make burgers... ala meal kit style ( i went to whole foods and bought ground beef and hopes it tastes like meal kit burgers!)... and fried plantain and s'more... i'm going to try hershey's dark chocolate...it has milkfat...and see how i do..

i read a book for a few hours...yes, just read for fun...

this might be the summer break i always dreamed of...

trying to recreate fond memories... not something to regret if doesn't work out...

i'm having my first independent solo girl summer...with no milestones to hit!

i just get to be happy...

see what i mean of realizing i'm retired...anew..

i don't know what i've been doing the last 3 months somehow...and the time has gone..

so yeah, as of this moment... i will hang out here for the month of july... go back to LA for the cruise... 

and then hang out here again for july...

i will try to see if i can extend the cruise when i get on board to see if that discount is much better...i have a number calculated...

i am still hoping to win a free cruise...so as charles calls it, it's field research...but if it doesn't work...i don't have to wonder.... (i might up the ante from $125 to $300 lost in the casino)...

but looking at things like delta cruises... you can find cheap cruises... it'll just be a matter of flights...but i think i'm confident i can do 2-3 cruises during burnout recovery...and that was kind of a loose idea of how much cruising i might want to do...

i'm sure it'll be fun to match good deals with flight deals...

anyway...somehow doing things to take care of myself... feels easier?...dude i'm really retired!